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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  January 30, 2013 11:00pm-11:30pm PST

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- you don't have to go to your haunted house, but you can't stay at this haunted house. i bounced a ghost today, but in the process, i bounced my heart. [dance music] - go, gian. go, gian. whoa! gian comes through... again. both: go, gian! go, gian! go, gian! - and gian gets mvp again. - undercover mvp-- gian, every time. let's go! so as you can see, we bounc-ed this ghost, past tense. - all you did was turn on the lights and tell the ghost to leave. - that's where you're wrong. look... ghosts. - because you reset it back to zero. - [loudly] no! - we need to get to the bottom line, which is that my heart has been broken in half, and all i have is this footage, and the reminder of this beautiful woman that i've lost and i never had. the only thing that can make this go away is, perhaps, a three or four-way with you. - uh, i mean, are you guys really on tv?
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- very much. - whatever. - okay, that was easier than i expected. - cool. [woman screams] [rock music] preside al gore. we'rtalkg'sone oftingok - i love jesus christ, i love football. oftalm. i love singing, and i love motivating crowds, >>ifcult[ la nvolveht ] that mean and as and i love to [bleep]. and so just to be here with all those things that i love, i'm living my dream every day. hape tutsm wanting. four years sober and just doing it every day. ow itbances suly well, gosh, i love the internet. higherciithartisruptnsind mo - ha ha. good at bizness. thheme o a trade t flash crash whereec ]t captioning sponsored by comedy central talking o a solutel pitalism t wnd ito dno from comedy central's world news
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headquarters in new new new yors money, a mty is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song and spees inter playing] [cheers and applause] ar e de. lai arne.plse >> >> i wi >> welcome to "the daily show" tonight's guest is say big one. al gore will be joining u. his name interestingly enough an adagram for galore. that's meaningless. on the minds of everybody, illegal immigrants they are americans. all other countries are like america, how do you get your food so cheap and lawn so mowed. you must tell us your secret. [wis whispering] it's illegal. we've been divided over what to do about immigration.
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democrats proposed comprehensive reform which republicans had a different name form. >> when he says comprehensive reform he is talking about amnesty. >> jon: republicans were against it and accused others of not being against enough. >> i've always been against amnesty. you are or for amnesty. >> you had an op he had in the newspaper saying you were for it. >> jon: your wife has a dressage horse named amnesty. >> yeah in the next debate you won't be able to name three government agencies you would like to close. they talk about amnesty like it's a deviant seal practice. >> what i call backdoor amnesty. [ laughter ] >> jon: we've all applied for
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immra?ssn onhe use floor i'll donying short of soting them. jon: anyone else? ll bld walled >>0 feet barbed wie top. it's electrocud electified and a sign on the thl kill you. >> jon: nd the signwill be. [ laughter ] ah! that why the events of this week cme as u>> a major eakthrough onimmigrg tors from bothical paies to agree o a path to nge republicans,erhaps y lood into your hearts and adpele to doing o least gloro work little dignity >> look at the last election we'r losingthe
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rn.hat's the reason you are supse y've come lon way. you've comethe arch of history t it bendsowards shamelessness. whever everythg innse happs in the latinoitycommun this -- emotion rub high. we're joined al inis panic roo. >>actuly n it's one hispan not his panic. [ laughter >> jon: senateeicans reptingive from the demographic reality in this country cooperngn aartisa con rr electoral purposes. your moment for hispanics, john.
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to see -- jon. to see republicans in a last ditch desperate attempt to ensure the existence of their political party finally reach across the aisle with one hand while uses the other to hold last,noses it's a great day. thank god almighty forced at last. what a day. [ applause ] >> jon: that's a pretty cynical -- i have to say it's pretty cynical political calculations. >> yeah, sure is. >> jon: i guess the question is: will it work? will this bring hispanics in larger numbers to the republican party? >> let's crunch some numbers. let's get down in the weeds. by the way, who better to get down in the weeds, right? >> jon: i get it. >> mexicans. [ laughter ] >> jon: right, mexicans. >> the weed (bleep). >> jon: all right, just go. >> jews are cheap. >> jon: all right. there are many, many stereotypes
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just continue. here we go. obama beat romney about five million votes. that's with romney having won 27% of the latino vote which means if romney managed 17% mas the inauguration would have looked like this. >> jon: wait, what? what is going on with ann romney's hair? >> those bangs were happening no matter who won. [ laughter ] >> jon: does this immigration bill make up for past slights? i mean, gain the republicans the extra 17% they need? they've been hard on the hispanic community. >> probably not, jon. the problem for veabz that while over 90% of -- republicans is while over 90% of hispanics support immigration reform a full 65% of latinos hold grudges. 83% if it's something you did to their sister. [ laughter ] >> jon: al, how long would a
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grudge like that typically last? what would it take for hispanics to get over the grudge? >> a latino grudge on average lasts just over four generations. so right there -- >> jon: i get it. all right. [ laughter ] >> italian, irish -- >> jon: makes sense. >> the good news is that a latino generation is only seven years. >> jon: i didn't know. that to get to 51% of the electric tour rate they'll have to -- electorate they'll have to -- the republicans. >> pull some votes of previously offended demographics. >> jon: 93% of african-americans voted for obama. perhaps pull some from there. >> that's a possibility. >> i got this, al. that is never going to happen, jon, never. >> jon: there's no way the republicans can chip away at the african vote.
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>> that ship has sailed literally jorchghts yes, sir, nothing is written in stone. >> that's true. i mean maybe the republicans could have a conference where they talk about outreach to minority voters. >> jon: right, right, that could help. >> and maybe they could hold that minority out reach conference, um, i don't know earlier this month at a former virginia slave plantation! never going to happen. >> jon: i forgot about that. >> i don't know how the hell she got in here it's called the hispanic room. not young black chick room. >> jon: al, where are republicans going to get the vote? >> maybe asians, i don't know fiscally conservative gay people if that's even a thing. or possibly hawaiian pranksters but look, it still won't get them over the top. >> jon: romney lost the female vote by 11 points csm they make inroads there? >> it's a possibility. i could see --
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>> again, i got this. role 212- >> if it's a legitimate rape the female body has ways ways to tro shut that whole thing down. >> never gonna happen. >> jon: thank you very much. jessica william and
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s [cheers and applause]
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>> jon: welcome back. my guest former vice president of these united states. his new book is called "the future." please welcome back to the program al gore. [cheers and applause] sir -- [cheers and applause] interviewer: thank did. >> thank you. >> jon: how are you? >> i am fine. i love that opening skit. hiss tear call. >> jon: we prefer to think of it as sketch. >> skit is fine. the kids will understand. the book is called "the future" by and there's your name right there. given the sale of current to the people who sold it to you perhaps it's pronunsed algore. al jazeera. you've taken a lot of guff for that for selling to qatar. >> i'm proud of transaction.
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it's going to be a positive addition to the u.s. media landscape. they do a great job. >> jon: are they keeping some of the current programming? are they replacing it with other things. >> they are keeping a lot of the same people. they have all news all the time, no commercial breaks. they have a terrific reputation. they've earned respect. >> jon: you know who else does that, no commercial breaks cine dlrks max though the news division is not as tight. >> pbs newsed to do it without commercial breaks. >> jon: but enter this macarthur foundation came n. qatar is -- they are the guy -- you are poster boy of sounding the alarm over global warming. how hard is that when you see manhattan flood do you sit back and think to yourself like, i told you. >> no, no, no. [ laughter ] >> jon: is that i a difficult think to wrap your head around? >> look, this thing is so
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serious and so beyond the tradition yam boundaries -- traditional boundaries of what we're used to dealing with. i wish the scientists whose wisdom i have delivered to people had been wrong. they wish they had been wrong. but, you know, we're doing it. we're putting 90 million tons of global warming pollution every day into the atmosphere as if it's an open sewer. it traps more heat every day than -- well, the equist lent of -- equivalent 400,000 here hiroshima bombs every day according to a scientist. this impacts all the rest. we have to do something about it. and, yet, you know, earth inc., it relines fossil energy for 85% of all the energy and it will
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take time. solar energy, wind energy, efficiency are coming down in price rapidly. a lot of countries are moving towards a carbon tax or cap and trade or both. even china now has a pilot. they are announcing the pilot for the national program in two years. >> jon: right. there's reasons for optimism but we have to get busy about solving them. >> jon: that's -- here is the confusion for me or the difficulty. we have to get busy solving it. there were things you could do, take a shorter shower, lick your children dry. [ laughter ] all those things you could do but the difficulty of doing it -- there room in -- can mobile al gore who has current tv and sells it to qatar which is an oil-based economy, can mogul al gore coexist with activist all gore and is that --
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al gore and is that -- if you couldn't find for your business a more sustainable choice to sell to. >> i think it is sustainable. what is not sustainable about it? >> jon: a nonfossil fuel based buyer? >> look. they have the highest quality, most extensive best climate coverage of any network in the world. jeff godell tweeted today on what al jazeera is doing on climate coverage. they are very, very good. >> jon: the bar is not high. >> the bar is not high. >> jon: we don't have climate change coverage in america. >> it's maybe beginning to change since superstorm sandy. think about last year we went through this lerks -- election leer which happened to the
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hottest in the country. 60% in drought. big fires in the west, superstorm sandy, $110 billion in climate related disasters and we had all these presidential debates, not one single journalist in any of the debates asked any of the candidates a single question about the climate crisis. that is pathetic. >> jon: i don't think there's any question about that. [cheers and applause] no question. >> so here you have an award-winning network that has a established its reputation for excellence that does terrific climate coverage. they want to come in here and give 24/7 commercial free outstanding news reporting and give coverage to the climate issue, why not? >> jon: that i understand. >> thank you. >> jon: you already have. current was a news organization
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that could have zn don that. >> without -- could have done that. >> without deep pockets. being an independent. i'm proud of my partner and i did. we won awards. we were competing as independent without deep pockets. as the come glom rates want to advertise to consumers they do that for free across this aisle. we have to pay premium dollar. we were profitable every year but we got to a point where we could not keep going. we had to sell. this organization has earned the right to be respected for what this. th my point suainability. you d plesandthgh beus of some t ogina ilue ne >> g aease aft itself jyoho
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thathe iut atwkh rta -kers. me ere a stro th to pr d. ast solutr omfo wpleth g t criticism netefor t u.thchoend stbi.lit o y int wasnly cose. >> i get icomplelybelieve ite e ghtcoutam
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