tv The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Comedy Central December 1, 2014 6:26pm-6:59pm PST
smashing. [laughter] in the midterm election but one democratic senator still has a chance. >> senator landrieu is facing against republican challenger bill cast de. >> proponents poll show him up by 16 points and another show him up by about 20. >> jon: so, up by 20 points. senator an landrieu races cassidy like a skier might face a run off election with an avalanche. there's still time for one last hail mary landrieu. >> the pipeline has been six years in the making but the timing of the house and senate votes were politics pure and simple. the house will bass introduced by louisiana republican bill cassidy. the senate bill by louisiana democrat mary landrieu. >> jon: oh my god, it's so embarrassing. they both wore the same transparent ploy to congress.
that's just a shame. you know the keystone pipeline long been an environmental bugaboo. you can never pass the democratically held senate, unless they were willing to sell out a core constituency and vote for this keystone pipeline bill just to save one senate seat that doesn't even change the balance of power. >> to boost landrieu's chances at the polls some of her fellow democrats dropped their opposition to the bill. [laughter] >> jon: i just said that would be stupid to do. [laughter] so the party that lost the midterm election because it didn't stand for anything, has decided oh i've got an idea. what if we stood for that. [laughter] or maybe the right to drop their objections. what exactly is the keystone xp pipeline. >> the pipeline sends tar sands oil from alberta, canada to nebraska where it would hook up with existing pipeline to go to
refineries on the gulf coast. it would carry more than 800,000 barrels of crude oil a day. >> jon: because apparently the old mother of simply overnighting oil wasn't working out very well. [laughter] any project this large and controversial is bound to be complicated. so i think before we all make up our minds, i think we should hear the president's comments. how many jobs would this project create. >> we can bill the keystone pipeline creating thousands of temporary and millions of permanent jobs, the ceo who runs the pipeline says there will be 35 permanent jobs. >> jon: okay. [laughter] somewhere ten ... [laughter] ... millions of jobs and 35. [laughter] let's just say the keystone
pipeline will create some jobs with a margin of error of ... [laughter] ... almost all numbers. [laughter] although just because something could create jobs doesn't mean it's a good idea. i'm sure you could hire a hundred people to chiseldisks on mount rushmore. that doesn't mean you should do it, of course. [applause] it's a big tour i was -- no disrespect to those people in those conditions. accomplished this feat of engineering. may history never forget those that it knows only as the chisel dicks. a fascinating story in my new book the story of john dicks on mount rushmore soon to be a documentary film by keith burns.
no relationship. tell me more. >> keystone pipelines will be harmful to our family's health. it will hurt the environment. >> president's own state department has found the pipeline poses no meaningful risk to the environment. >> this gives us a chance to be more secure as a nation and more independent from more than oil. >> it does nothing for american energy secure. >> jon: so it looks like the keystone pipeline is either a 1200 mile long job creating slip and slide made on of out of rain doughs and streams. or the mississippi riverside poison urethra and satan himself. this will create jobs. what's one spill here and there. >> it can spread miles. if our water is contaminated we
have no water for the cattle. >> jon: that's the problem right there. you're still using those water base cows. your problem there is you got to upgrade to what do you call it, the oil burning cows. there's your problem. problem solved. you got to get those cows. did you ever see those when you're driving? senators from both parties battled for hours to sway the pipeline votes and aparently also to see if they could make the senate's giant printer run out of toner and ink right there. the interesting thing about that picture is the senator made that and held the giant photo as though he were a human easel. when there is very clearly a regular non-human easel two rows back. it's a fetish. i guess that's a win for the
republicans. pipeline not even built yet, already created a job. here we go. it's mary landrieu whose got the most at stake here. besides the thousands of people about to live on enormous pipeline avenue, she's got the strong else argument. >> we've been building pipelines in this country before most of us were born. all of us were born. that's what's so outrages about this debate. >> i say to you tonight my fellow americans we need to return to doing things the way that they were before we were all born. out like slavery. bring that back. wham i to go standing here voting like i was a man or something. we have laws. return to how things were when we were not born. [laughter] >> jon: so we've always built pipelines like most convincing line of reason. what else have you got. >> what people in louisiana want, what people in texas want,
what people in mississippi want, what people in new jersey want, what people in south dakota and illinois and kansas and vermont, are good paying jobs. >> jon: are you going to name them all? are you going to name all the states? because are there states that tonight want good paying jobs? [laughter] of course this bill would not be found in oregon. so landrieu's bottom of the line. and the pitch. >> failed by one vote. >> jon: like my dad always said you're just not good enough. [laughter] yes. that's it. landrieu's almost certainly gone. the keystone pipeline's been voted down never to be seen again. >> republicans take over the congress, the senate in january. they will bring this up first order of business and it will pass.
>> jon: and when it does sw, exsenator mary landrieu will be thankful that even though the paper line didn't save her job, she can now apply for one of its 35 to millions of new ones. we'll be right back. we'll be right back. [applause] pizza hut completely reinvented pizza with their ten new crust flavors. so, alfonso, how about a classic flavor, like toasted parmesan? ah, si!
or the fiery red pepper? no. honey sriracha? no. no. no. toasted cheddar? salted pretzel? no. but you can get any of these crust flavors at no extra charge! only one crust! i guess we'll go with the classic then. get a pair of pizzas, a new one or an old favorite for six ninety nine each. the flavor of now menu. get it at pizza hut dot com. get to t-mobile and knock out your gift list. with zero down and zero interest on all the hottest gifts. like the samsung galaxy note 4 and the note 10.1,
another chance once congress comes back in january. the keystone pipeline faces one more important hurdle. >> in the case of the keystone pipeline its builder transcanada is using the power of eminent domain to take hundreds of miles of private land from private owners. >> jon: eminent domain when the government forces sale when it's needed for public use. not to be confused eminen domain for him to take your property if he dis you in a rap song. all right. the point is, i don't know the lyrics. the point is, the company that wants to build a pipeline through the united states needs more than just congressional approval. it needs signature. transcanada cannot lay pipe anywhere it want to without permission. it's not bill cosby. it can't just go ... besides it's got to be a republican
congress. everyone knows how republicans feel about eminent domain. after kelo versus new london, you all remember that. ruled the government could take private land and give it to a corporation if doing so might help the economy. >> the power of eminent domain should not be used simply to further private economic development. >> clear principle in all the constitution, the right of private property. so much for the constitutional guarantee that your property can only be taken for public use, not private use. >> jon: see, but this is different. clearly the keystone pipeline is not private use. it's public use. anybody in america could drive their tar sand oil up to canada and ship it back down that pipeline. whether it detranscanada the private corporation that built it or the average citizen with
an excess of tar sand oil. [laughter] you know how the republican felt when the government tried to set aside land for alleged public good of conserving land. >> we're going to take three million acres, and deem it untouchable for further energy for this country. we're going to step all over private property rights in this nation. >> >> god knows this country with a not built on the principal, taking rights away from an individual. [laughter] well that's different too though. you don't want to use eminent domain to conserve land, and it's clear keystone pipeline won't be doing that. i word how proponents of the pipeline who hate eminent domain would square those circles. >> i am disturbed about eminent domain abuse because i think
private property rights are fundamental who we are as americans. >> jon: go on. >> the u.s. supreme court said wrongly i think that it should help out private interests. i don't think we should be helping out private interests. >> jon: of course. it sounds like with everything you believe and the sanctity of private property and the constitution itself, the problem with the keystone pipeline then is eminent domain. >> the problem with the keystone pipeline isn't the issue of eminent domain. the problem is the obama administration with the stroke of a pen shut that project down. >> jon: what the [bleep] [laughter] how did you get ... yes, the problem isn't the project i want undermining a constitutional principle i supposedly support. it's the president using his constitutional right to veto. the problem is the constitution. [laughter] it's all going to be a moot point because nine months ago the republican-led house passed the private property rights
protection act to prohibit the federal government from exercising its power of eminent domain for economic development. so guess what? done and done. that law passes, there's no way transcanada can use eminent domain to build the pipeline. >> i support measures to limit eminent domain but i strongly oppose an exemption for transcanada, keystone xl and any other entreat that cannot provide proof their project are for the public benefit. >> jon: oh right. unless the private property protection freedom fighters happen to include a small disclaimer in their eminent domain evil law that states that it, quote, shall not apply any project in which condemnation proceedings been implemented prior to date of enactment. in other words, any project already in the [ i've been called a control freak...
i like to think of myself as more of a control... enthusiast. mmm, a perfect 177-degrees. and that's why this road warrior rents from national. i can bypass the counter and go straight to my car. and i don't have to talk to any humans, unless i want to. and i don't. and national lets me choose any car in the aisle. control. it's so, what's the word?... sexy. go national. go like a pro. captain obvious: this is a creepy room. man: oh hey, captain obvious. captain obvious: you should have used hotels.com. their genuine guest reviews are written by guests who have genuinely stayed there. instead of people who lie on the internet. captain: here's a review, it's worse in person.
[but the more you learn abouty insurancyour coverage,bout it. the more gaps you might find. like how you thought you were covered for this. [boy] check it out,mom! [prof. burke]when you're really only covered for this. or how you figured you were covered for this. when you're actually paying for this. you might be surprised at what's hiding in your coverage. talk to farmers and get smarter about your insurance. ♪ we are farmers bum-pa-dum, bum-bum-bum-bum ♪ [announcer] call 1-800-farmers and see how much you could save. ♪ it's cyber monday at verizon! hurry online to snap up our best cyber monday deals! like the lg g3 in blaze red, now free! the incredible 7-inch verizon ellipsis tablet, also free. and get a $150 credit for every smartphone you switch. so, hurry online and get it all on america's largest, most reliable 4g lte network! verizon.
is a story.y open heart... a story about finishing the race... no matter what the obstacles. about rebuilding the bond between a mother and a daughter. or about helping build homes for others... because you remember what it felt like... not to have one. when you keep an open heart, amazing things happen. that's what the open hearts collection at kay jewelers, the number one jewelry store in america, is all about. keep your heart open... and love will always find its way in. ♪ every kiss begins with kay.
how are you. >> i'm doing very well. >> jon: thank you for being here. in a season of wonderful performances, season of wonderful performances, your performances, your steven hawkings performance in this film is for me one of the most incredible, i don't understand how you did it even physically. for those of you who haven't seen it, you embodied to the point where steven hawkings said i felt like i was watching myself when i saw you. it was amazing. >> that was a very kind thing he said. thank you. it was amazing. having the privilege to play him was the most extraordinary thing. and the extraordinary thing, i think you were at the premier. >> jon: i was at the premier when you premiered in toronto. >> i was so nerved and i come off stain and the reaction was kind to the film and you were the first person i saw. and we never met and i smoked you, i basically went to kiss
you. >> jon: i was very excited and i believe i followed you around the rest of the weekend. never attained that height again. it must have been very gratifying. even just the physical transformation you went through, how do you, were there prosthetics, how did you embody his physical decline? >> well, i can't, if you get some extraordinary -- charlie cox another actor in the film an old friend who said when i got cast he said when you get that opportunity you have no option but to give your everything. and so basically went and slowly kind of educating myself on the disease and meeting people who suffered from it. and it's such a horrible disease. but then also meeting steve and spending a bit of time with him. a dancers who helped sort of define the physician kl --
physicality in my body the it was a long process. >> jon: when you meet someone with als and you're saying to them i'm going to play someone who suffers from a similar disease, does it give them any joy to share it with you, do they feel like thank you great dramatize had, that's wonderful. >> i went to the clinics every week and those specialists would meet the people who were suffering ter end. she would say there's an actor here playing steven hawkings and because steven was given two years to live and has broken all the rules. it's an anomaly. he's survived 50 years. he's also a great a bastion of hope and across the board people were so generous. they would let me let me feel
what the muscles feel like. and there are these phantoms, it was so key to educate me. >> jon: is that it's rigid or it stiffens or what happens. >> you basically have what are called upper neurons and lower neurons and if the upper neurons go there's rigidity. there's a brilliant video on youtube of steven when he did zero gravity. it's kind of the only time you can see him out of the chair and you can see what his upper and what his lower. so that was kind of helpful to try to work out the progression. >> jon: is there a reason why scientifically that he has been able to sustain himself for this long. have they pointed to something either genetically or within the diagnosis. >> that's a great question. the answer is no. he has broken many rules. they don't know whether it's the
specific strain of the illness. steven was diagnosed at 21. she's had very little interest. this is secondary to him. but a lot of the specialists find it's so key to meet him to see what it is. >> jon: is it strange that i now talk to you as though you're a neuroscientist. [laughter] you are. now you're like my expert. if i ever like have a science question or health question i will call you. >> please feel free. don't expect a lengthy answer. i know you had jessica last night and you wanted her to explain interstellar to me. i haven't seen it yet and if i don't see it i don't have to explain what it's about. >> jon: i'm having actors on movies that people would like to see more than mine. it's a whole week where i brought people on. they come on and i go your movie's great. although ... >> i went and saw your film.
>> jon: did you go. >> i went and saw it this week. it was beautiful. >> jon: thank you for doing that. [applause] it's really a remarkable film, remarkable perfoilance and i did i slobbered over you guys after it was over. congratulations. >> thank you. >> eddie redmayne. [applause] ♪ ♪ ♪ and this is the iphone 6 plus. you know the new a8 chip is powerful it brings gaming to the next level. i mean, if you're into that kinda thing. yeah, if you're into that kinda thing... watch out for that enemy turret, koshka! i got it, glaive! alright, now let's destroy the vain crystal! wait, i'm going to upgrade from barbed needle to serpent mask. i'm going to buy some minion candy too. don't forget an eclipse prism. why would i want an eclipse prism in a situation like this? stop playing like a noob, glaive.
oh... really koshka? like the time you took on adagio with nothing but some journey boots and a scout trap? i knew you were going to bring that up! ♪ ♪ they're jamming in the street ♪ ♪ ♪ all night long ♪ all night ♪ bud light lime cran-brrr-rita fiesta forever all-in burger™. with smoky bacon ranch sauce, bacon searedn inside fresh ground beef, and more bacon on the outside. new all-in burgers™ with free refills of fries, and a surprisingly low bill. only... at applebee's. when electricity is generated here's awith natural gasu: instead of today's most used source, how much are co2 emissions reduced? up to 30%? 45%? 60%? the answer is... up to 60% less. and that's a big reason why the u.s. is a world leader in reducing co2 emissions.
take the energy quiz -- round 2. energy lives here. get to t-mobile and knock out your gift list. with zero down and zero interest on all the hottest gifts. like the samsung galaxy note 4 and the note 10.1, plus the beats solo 2, the ue boom and more. yep all of them, zero down, zero interest. we know, we're out of control. looks like the big guys job just got easier.
once again unfortunately, it is a bad day for people in the world who like brilliance. here it is, your moment of zen. >> when you relax like on your second date, you know you'll never ask me out again but if you did it's a different thing then, because you know, this is our first date. >> do you know what you're going to say. i know exactly what you're going to say. you're going to say i wouldn't respect you. i want to tell you right here