tv The Daily Show Comedy Central May 31, 2018 1:40am-2:10am PDT
everyone, can i have your attention, please? i'm afraid i have to give back my medal. the truth is, i haven't been playing fair either. i've been using s-s-steroids. i was willing to do anything to be the best. and the steroids made me blind to the people i was hurting. a good friend even tried to talk me out of it, but i wouldn't listen to him. - timmy. - taking steroids is just like pretending to be handicapped at the special olympics. because you're taking all the fairness out of the game. but i know now that even if you do win on steroids, you're really not a winner. you're just a p-pussy. you're just a big, fat p-p-pussy! and if you take steroids, the only decent thing to do is come forward and say, "remove me from the record books "because i am a big, stinky p-pussy, steroid-taking jackass." that's how i feel about myself, and why i must decline this medal and my place in the history books. and if you let me, i'll be back next year, to compete with honor.
- hey, kid, good for you for being honest. - well, guys, i guess now you see what i was up to along. i dressed up like a handicapped person and lost the special olympics on purpose so that jimmy could learn his lesson about steroids. oh, yeah? well, you guys are assholes! grow up! captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com may 30th, 2018, from comedy central's world new headquarters
in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. (applause). >> trevor: thank you. welcome to the daily show. thank you so much for tuning in. i am real estate trevor noah. take a seat, everybody, thank you so much. tonight's guest, civil rights activist and founder of the metoo movement tarana burke is joining us, everybody. plaws praws but first, but first, last week talks with north korea broke down after the country announced that they had no plans to get rid of their nuclear weapons. but they did come back with a counteroffer and i think it's safe to say talks are back on. >> new science tonight that the canceled summit between president trump and kim jung-un could soon be back on. but nbc news has obtained exclusive information from three u.s. officials that a recent
intelligence assessment concluded north korea has no intention of giving up its nukes any time soon am but may offer to open up a western hamburger franchise in its capitol as a gesture of good will. >> trevor: yeah, okay,s it's interesting. okay. so instead of shutting down its nuclear program, north korea sin sted offering to open a burger joint, yes, yeah, i don't even know how that makes sense. like i like to think that that was intended to be kim jung-un opening gambit, a ridiculous low ball opening to get the ball rolling but trump heard hamburgers and we are like we're in, where is my nobel prize, nobel, nobel, burger, burger. a burger restaurant is such an absurd come down from complete denuclearization it is almost like if you would ask a woman to marry you and she says no, but i will wear this new hat. (laughter) now we done know what hamburger restaurant they are going to ep o. it could be a burger king. or i guess north korea a burger supreme leader or could be a
mcdonald's, although when they introduced happy meal it will be werd because they will have to explainment they will be like let me explain what meal mean, okay, now let me tell you what happy s okay. in other news, a new report on hurricane maria in puerto rico has come out which has found that the actual death toll from last year's storm was 4,600. yeah, even though the official government count is only $64. i don't know but but that is mind blowing. like that is not just off, that is inauguration crowd-size off. and honestly when i heard this it reminded me that we need to do as much as we can to help recovery efforts in puerto rico. so don't forget you can still donate. and the good news is president trump is already doing his part. he just tossed them four more paper towels, yeah! let's move on. last night president trump mossied down to nashville to campaign for republican senate candidate marcia black burn but surprisingly instead of staying
on message the president spent most of the rally talking about himself. he talked about how he plans to beat hillary clinton in the 2016 campaign. and he talked about how great he was for minorities and then he pointed to a black person in the audience. yeah. and finally, he laid out his plans for infrastructure. >> we will build new strength into our country. we will breed new hope into our communities. and we will do it all with these big, beautiful hands. look at these hands. >> trevor: look at these hands. yeah, that's right, america, president trump going to personally build up america's infrastructure with his bare beautiful hands. he's going to pitch like you tbies can stop building that bridge. me and the old pussy grabbers can take it from here, come on wall, come on, wall, i got it also, did you notice the guy in the audience there? like that's how you know that trump has his people on lock.
he puts up his hands and this guy is like-- and now trump wasn't just in town to ignore the senate candidacy he was there to promoavment being on that stage also gave him the opportunity to crowd test his favorite new con spirsy. >> so how do you like the fact they had people infiltrating our campaign? can you imagine? can you imagine? is there anybody in this big, beautiful arena right now that is infiltrating our campaign? would you please raise your hand. >> trevor: now that seems weird, and you can laugh all you want but that's how the americans final ended tonightment reason ald reagan said raise your hand if you are a spy and the jennings fell for it i did not see that coming. raise your hand if you are a spy is one of those questions that is supposed to under so like a swroak but is tully totally serious. you know like those questions like wouldn't it be so funny if we had a threesome, i'm kidding
obviously, but i mean that would be so funny though, we almost have to do t how funny it would be, when you think about it but yes, what trump is referring to is his claim that the fbi placed a spy in his campaign to help hillary clinton win the election. which like most of trump's conspiracies is to the 58 bullshit. no evidence at all. what did happen is that the fbi with good reason had concerns that russia was infiltrating trump's campaign so it used an informant to try and stop it. if anything the fbi was trying to protect donald trump, calling that spying is like accusing your doctor of spying on your cancer. what are you doing in there? so trump knows that the fbi wasn't spying on his campaign. but he also knows that if he keeps saying that they were, hands guy over here will start to believe that the fbish was out to get trump from the start. and that the mueller investigation must just be another plot by the anti-trump state. and you don't have to take my word for it. >> over the weekend the president's attorney ruddy giuliani told cnn the attacks are part ever a political
strategy to sway public opinion against the peuler probe. >> st for public opinion. because eventually the decision here is going to be impeach or not impeach. members of congress, democrat and republican are going to be informed a lot by their constituents. so our jury is the american-- as it shubd, is the american people. >> trevor: i am a shocked how upfront giuliani is, yeah, we're trying to manipulate public opinion against the investigation so trump doesn't get impeached, duh. if you are ever pulling offer a heist shall don't have ruddy on your squad, will give it away. help me, help me, i'm faking a heart attack so that my boys can sneak into the safe. task's what i am doing. help me. and thanks to giuliani, we now understand why trump has not only been pushing this conspiracy, but also branding it, or at least trying to brand it. >> according to the associated press, mr. trump wants to brand the fbi's confidential informant a spy believing the more nefarious term would resonate more in the media and with the public. the president used some version
of the word spy 24 times in 15 tweets over ten days. >> we mow call it spy gait, are you calling it spy gate. >> it should be noted that no one is using that term. >> no, we're not calling it spygate. >> nobody is calling it that because there was no spygailt gate. >> trevor: trump is priceless. the media is reporting on him calling it spygate and to him that moons they are also calling it spygatement i wouldn't be shocked if trump doesn't understand how echoes work. is he probably at the grand canio like hello. hello. >> whoa, that's what i was saying. you see, the problem is, that much like a ticket on trump's defunk airline, nobody is buying it. >> president trump himself in the comey memo said if anyone connected with my campaign was working with russia, i want you to investigate it. and it sounds to me like that is exactly what the fbi did.
>> the trump people think that the fbi had an undercover agent who inviegleed into the campaign. >> there is no evidence of that whatsoever. >> president trump accusing the special counsel and his team of a whole new set of conspiracy theories. the president called it spygate. fox news can confirm it is not. >> trevor: damn, even people on fox news are calling trump out for this one. which can only mean one of two things. either there really is knock at all to spygate and trump is just trying to undermine the mueller investigation, or the deep state fbi has infiltrated fox news. there is only one way to find out if that happened. if anyone at fox news is a spy, please raise your hand. please raise your hand. we'll be right back. how far does big tobacco go
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>> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. by now we all know that yesterday rosanne was fired for tweeting that former obama advisor valerie jarrett was the birth child of the muslim brotherhood and the planet of the apes. >> and many people applauded abc for reacting swiftly and canceling rosanne although personally i think abc could do more. i think they should go one accept further and reboot "family matters" with a superwoke steve urkel. yeah, like did i do that or was it the oppressive socialio economic system that sees black men as a men ayes. -- men as. just my idea. now owes rosanne getting fired wasn't a shock. let's be honest comparing a black person to an ape is what i like to call shi it, your pants racism t is so obviously, everyone can smell it, seen it, no one wants to help you clean it up. even the antipc bre brigade agrees rosanne had gone too far. >> rosanne barr made some really incendiary pretty appalling
comment os be twitter. >> after i saw this tbeet this morning i will be honest, it shocked me. >> we can't defend her. it was unacceptable. it was mean-spirited. >> the planet of the apes was so over the line there was no getting away from that. >> the muslim brotherhood thark et goes kicked around. but when you combine that with the planet of the apes it is just, you can't really ever come back. >> yeah. >> trevor: that is an interesting angle. i love how precise jess yea waters gets with this, it is i arraysism chemist, on its own muslim brotherhood is harmless but once you combine it with too much planet of the apes it is going to blow up in your face. trust me when you have been tiffing racei shit as long as have i you gets a feel, you have to mix it just right. >> what was d dz. >> trevor: what was fun was people that tried to argue rosanne wasn't being racist, just sort of generally bad. >> we live in a politically correct world right now. we live in a world where it's just not, it's just plain not
nice. it's not nice to. >> it's pot about political correctness, it is racism. >> let her finish. >> let's just look at what this was, and what she say. the tweet was not nice t was ugly t was demeaning, it was grossment and let's just leave it at that. >> why, why leave it at that. >> bus it's just-- . >> trevor: yeah, why, why life leave it at that. >> i want that lady to defend me in court. >> trevor: murder is such a harsh word. can't we all agree to call it making someone go bye bye. huh? this is such a "pc world" where no one wants it die any more, huh? and seriously, i'm impressed by all of this, it takes a lot of mental strength to say that calling a black woman an ape isn't racism, not everyone can pull it off. >> do you think rosanne is a racist. >> i don't think so no. have i seen her show many times when she was in her previous show, i don't think she say racism ist. i think she made some comments that she didn't think about that would come across as sounding racist. and indeed they were.
half (laughter). >> trevor: this is it is like his conservative side and black side were fighting it out in his head and his black side won at the last minute. >> she made some comments that might sound racist because that shit was racist. whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. >> trevor: now after this rosanne apologized on twitter and said that the reason she tweeted those racist things was because she was on ambien and it was memorial day. and you know how memorial day gets people, n-ig-- and in rosanne's defense tweeting stuff that is racist while you are on ambien, i do understand because if you listen carefully to their ad there is a subtle warning about just this thing. >> now thanks to ambien you can get a good night sleep and wake up well rested. side effects of ambien include
nausea, diarrhea, and sudden racism. do not operate social media while taking amount been because it may lead to sitcom lost. if you feel sudden racism while on ambien, don't leave your house. if you must say the "n" word scream it into a pillow until the feeling passes. if ambien is taken on mem or qual day, racist side feks are amplified for some reason. if you suddenly wake up and you are at a klam rally, contact your doctor immediately, unless he's black. because you will probably just call hum a monkeyment ambien for a good night's sleep and potential racism. >> trevor: we'll be right back. back. (applause) growing up i didn't have anyone who looked like me. that's why i started my blog to inspire people to be themselves. the surface laptop has already made me more productive. i'm creating mood boards. i'm editing content. or i'm running around new york with a huge bouquet of balloons. so having a light laptop is a game changer.
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♪ oui l'endorphine s'est envolée ♪ ♪ ♪ d'une fête foraine devenue noire ♪ ♪ >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show, my guest tonight is an advocate for survivors of sexual violence who founded the metoo move am over a decade ago. please welcome tarana burke. pawtion pause (applause). >> trevor: welcome to the show. >> thank you. >> trevor: so honored to have you here. i was honored to be with you at the time 100 gala am were you honored as one of time 100 most influential people, congratulations on that. >> thank you. >> trevor: it is well deserved, yeah, yeah.
(applause) >> because you have become so synonymous with the me-too movement and this idea of justice, we just learned today that new york's grand jury indicted harvey weinstein on two counts of rape and a single count of a criminal act. if convicted he faces up to 25 years in prison. is this something that brings you joy or how do you react to a story when it culminates in this matter. >> it doesn't bring me personal joy, this is not really what it is about. and i have said this before, this is not really a moment to like celebrate how the mighty have fallen. but it is cathartic for the survivors, it is a moment for them to have a sense of relief, for some of them. there are others without don't feel like it's justice. and there are others who feel a little tenuous because it will mark the beginning of them having to be dragged through a trial process where his, you know, his attorneys are going to try their best to diminish them and to make them seem like they were complicit. >> that is something i think a
lot of people forget about cases of sexual assault. is that the women are at the beginning of their journey where now people will probe them. >> that's right. >> trevor: people will make them out ton liars. when you look at the metoo movement, when you started your program, what was your initial goal? >> our goal was really to work with black and brown girls in the south, who are survivors of sexual violence to speak healing too their lives. to let them know that healing was possible and let them know that they weren't alone and it grew from there, it grew from working with young girls to grown women, you realize we're survivors of sexual violence and there are others like us. and it has really been focused on what survivors need to start a heal prog ses happen. is really what the hertz of our movement has been about, and also working to end sexual violence. >> trevor: and if you look at this world that we live in now, the me too movement has become synonymous with men being brought down. >> right. >> trevor: i often hear people say the phrase oh metoo claims another victim or another win
for metoo, do you think that is the right way to frame it. do you think maybe people are missing the point of what metoo is meant to inspire. >> absolutely it feels like playing whack a mole, it is like who is the neck person are you going to meet will take down, that is not really our focus stvment as a by product of people coming forward and telling their truth, then there is justice that happens. there is some kind of resolution that happens from that. >> trevor: right. >> then that's fine. but our goal is really to support the survivors and make sure survivors are in a place of leadership in the work to end sexual violence. not about taking down powerful men and it is not a woman's move am either it tha is another sort of misconception stvment a movement for survivors. >> you made headlines recently when you were in harlem i believe, at a restaurant and they were playing r. kelly. and you asked them to stop playing the r. kelly song. >> yeah. >> trevor: and then you reached out to prominent radio djs and said help us, help us to mute r. kelly. >> yeah. >> trevor: that grew into a movement which culminated in
spotify for instance saying we will remove him from play lists, et cetera. could you explain the why in and around that. why was that so important to you. some people say it is the music, not him. why was that so important to you. >> first i didn't start the mute r. kelly, i want to be clear about that. i have been talking about and speeblging out against r. kelly like a number of black women for years, mute r. kelly was started by two other black women that a support really thukically but the issue is not just about r. kelly. the way that he makes his money is through his music and through performances. if we continue to support him, he uses that money to the debted riment of these black and brown girls that he has been preying on for 20 years so it is about making sure he doesn't have the resources to do that. but it's also because he symbolizes a greater thing. there are r. kellies in our neighborhoods, in our communities n our schools and churches. he represents a thing that we can't touch, we can't stop, we cannot get people to pay a tengsz to the plight of sexual violence against black and brown
girls and r. kelly is a perfect example of it. >> it feels like you find this across cultures. but you will correct me if i'm wrong. have i come to find that predom nanltly in cultures of color, there is an idea that we shouldn't speak about these things. i remember growing up, if an uncle was accused of abusing a young girl, then the girl would get into trouble. how do you begin these conversations in communities of color? how do you get people on your side and realize that the community has to work from the inside. >> i feel like, i have said this before. we have to be able to hold two truths at the same time on more than one truth, right, and i speak about the black community specifically. i think in the black community, we are so focused on the fact that there is a true history of black men being falsely accused of race and sexual violence in this country. that is true. there is no question about t history supports that. but it is also true that in every community the people who commit sexual violence except for the native community, by and large are from that community. so by and large if that is true
he and we know black women are sexually assaulted and victims of sexual violence trk happens by and large at the hands of black men. so we have to unravel this idea that we have to be silent to protect our then, and we have to protect our community from this. and we also have to dismantle this notion that we have about woman hood and sexuality and you know, that a girl develops and she gets a body and all of a sudden she is solely responsible for protecting herself from perpetrators. it becomes her faulted that she develops breasts and a behind and you know, men find her, grown men find her attractive and we give, you know what happens in our community, i'm sure, in african communities as well as american comooments, you get these rules shall don't sit on anybody's lap, don't let anybody touch your private parts. all of the rulesk all the onus is on the child. but what we don't say very often is if those rules are broken, it's not your fault. i are not the one responsible, the adults are wholly responsible for making sure that you are safe. that is what we have to unpack. we have to start unpacking those
things in our community. and have an honest conversation, really. it is not, you cannot put a song, you cannot put a person's talent over somebody's humanity, that is just insane. >> trevor: wow. can i only say i am proud to have sat with you. and i think you are an amazing person doing the most phenomenal job. >> thank you. >> trevor: i am excited to see where the movement goes, thawng so much for being or the show. >> thank you, thank you so much. >> trevor: tarana burke, everyone. thank you so much. (applause)