Mike Ramonez’s attic was filled with little leaves, hanging from the ceiling. Mike touched some, and they turned into moths that flitted around his head. But they weren’t leaves, or moths: they were bats. He couldn’t have bats here for his housewarming/family reunion! A pest control guy estimated it would cost $2300 to seal up the eaves at night so that the bats couldn’t get in and out anymore. That was crap, as far as Mike was concerned. Mike was handy: he had installed a new toilet and put in a dimmer switch, hadn’t he? Nailing some planks inside the attic where no one would see them would be a piece of cake. He was smart enough to use a mallet to pound the nails through the plywood: a hammer would have woken the sleeping bats. And then he had the whole rest of the day to decorate for the housewarming party. It seemed every Mexican named Ramonez in the world showed up. Mike worked the crowd accepting thanks on the beautiful house, handshakes with $20 bills folded in them, and offers to winterize the porch any weekend he wanted. It was all going great until the bats woke up, and couldn’t get out the way they normally did. But the new house had all sorts of nooks and crannies within the walls, and a vent down to the first floor was left open. Very few things turn a family reunion sour worse than 500 bats circling above grandma’s head. The seven-layer dip fell to the floor, its roadcut layers that a minute ago were drawing flies now drawing bats. Half the relatives were yelling Rabies! the other half Rabia! The family Ramonez vacated the house in record time, leaving it for the family Chiroptera.