Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  April 3, 2020 12:05am-1:07am PDT

12:05 am
either a show or i am having a paranoid hallucination. who even knows anymore? here's something i learned in quarantine, did you know that you can save a lot of time and bread if you eat the peanut butter straight out of the jar? hello? is anybody listening to me? i never really knew what loneliness was until i started telling jokes to an empty room. tomorrow, i, and hopefully you will be dressing up for a special occasion known as "formal friday." my wife molly came up with this idea a couple weeks ago. to give yourself some sense of normalcy, even if you are alone. put something nice on, once a week. on friday. get all gussied up to eat hot pockets from the back of the freezer. we've been getting a great response to this. many of you have shared your formal friday photos online. >> jimmy: jennifer, alex, betty, and pinky got in the spirit. pinky even accessorized with face masks. >> jimmy: animals are joining in too, whether they know it or not. some parents got the whole family dressed up. including the bull family in
12:06 am
shanghai. and our bandleader cleto and his family in the valley. formal friday has even become a thing in new zealand. a tv host over there named hilary barry posted this, asking "too much?" no, hilary, not at all. here is a kiwi named abbey looking dapper. and shawn gets half credit. but we're doing our best. so welcome new zealand to formal friday. next up, the international space station! we've been getting some funny videos too, like this guy who dressed up for work today. >> ah, morning. fresh coffee? thanks, baby. i'm off to work. i'll see you later. have a good day! >> jimmy: and then the pants came right off, i'm sure. let's keep it going. post your photos and videos tomorrow night. with the hashtag "formal friday."
12:07 am
we'll share our favorites again here next week. tonight's big event is thirsty thursday. i found out this morning that a bunch of my co-workers have been doing a group chat happy hour on thursdays. i was not invited to be a part of this. so now those people are fired. now they have a reason to drink! but i don't need them because i have my own group chat with my friend guillermo. hi guillermo. >> guillermo: how you doin', jimmy? >> i'm doing all right, how's it going a chez rodriguez right now? >> guillermo: it's going fantastic. >> jimmy: i understand you have a special thursday thirsty cocktail recipe to share with us. >> guillermo: yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: all right, take it away. >> guillermo: take one bottle of tequila. and add one straw. and then you drink it.
12:08 am
>> jimmy: that's it? >> guillermo: that's it. >> jimmy: is there anything left in that bottle? let's do a toast. to good health, and may we be allowed outside our houses by labor day. all right? >> guillermo: cheers to you. >> jimmy: to you. shouldn't be a surprise, sales of alcohol since we got all got put under house arrest have skyrocketed. for the week ending march 21st, which was the first full week of quarantine, spirits sales were up 55%. beer was up 42%, wine was up 66%, and hard alcohol and pre-mixed cocktails were up 75%. experts attribute this spike in sales to the fact that everyone is now drinking all the time. we all used to think kathie lee and hoda were nuts drinking at 10:00 a.m. everyday. now we are kathie lee and we are hoda. so drink up, america, and remember, they can't smell gin on your breath on a video conference call. not only are americans drinking more, we're drinking in creative new ways.
12:09 am
like this couple who attached beers to the inside of their garage door to earn a spot as stars of our -- quarantime killer of the night! >> garage door -- >> chuggin' challenge! >> >> [ bleep ]! >> [ bleep ]! >> jimmy: who says spring break was canceled? in england right now, and most everywhere, people are rushing to get whatever supplies they can. this is from the bbc where they caught up with a woman who managed to narrow her shopping down to the three most important things a human being needs to survive. >> down the road i spoke to locals gathering essential supplies. >> this is all i need, so this is all i bought. >> and what have you got?
12:10 am
>> toilet roll, sausage rolls. >> jimmy: no tootsie rolls? well, just don't mix them up. speaking of toilet paper, here's another fascinating invention. last night, i showed you a machine that separates one roll of two-ply into two rolls of one-ply with the idea that it will go farther. but if you don't even have a roll of toilet paper to split, here's another solution. take a roll of paper towels, and cut it in half with a power saw. it works the other way too if you're out of paper towels, just glue two rolls of tp together and voila. the president may have another perfect call in the works. donald trump and joe biden are reportedly planning to chat about the coronavirus. that's going to be some call, that's gonna be tense. like joe exotic/carol baskin tense.
12:11 am
i actually suggested this to joe biden on the show last week as a joke. and now, it's real. the president said he'd "love" to speak to biden. you know trump's running out of things to do if he'd "love" to take a call from biden. he might even have to break down and call eric. maybe at this point, joe should just offer to take the presidency off his hands. trump might appreciate it. this pandemic would be a tough challenge for any president, but with a massive public health crisis on his hands, trump is keeping his eye on the ball by focusing on the things that really matter. >> do you think tweeting about it will help prevent it from happening? >> it's social media. it gets out. i have hundreds of millions of people on facebook. number one on facebook. did you know i'm number one on facebook? i just found out i'm number one on facebook. i thought that was very nice. >> jimmy: it is nice. it would be even nicer if it were true, which it isn't. but the timing is perfect too. with great power comes great
12:12 am
narcissism. here's another good one. trump was asked about an increase in domestic violence with everyone staying at home, but the question he was asked was not the same question he heard. >> police have reported a surge in calls about domestic violence. a number of groups have raised concerns. >> mexican violence? >> domestic violence. >> jimmy: he got so excited for a minute. he got confused because mexican violence is the name of his cologne. these press conferences are ridiculous. it's as if he just needs someone to talk at. and a lot of what he says, he seems to be reading for the first time. >> moments ago i directed secretary azar and secretary wolf to ensure that domestic manufacturers have the supplies they need to produce ventilators for patients with severe cases of c-o-v-i-d 19.
12:13 am
you know what that is, right? become a very famous term, c-o-v-i-d, covid. >> jimmy: b-i-n-g-o, b-i-n-g-o and bingo was his nameo. trump has also been desperate to show the silver lining of this disaster. he tweeted about this and was excited enough to talk about it too. >> gas is going to be 99 cents a gallon. that's popping up. that's like giving a massive tax cut to people of our country. >> jimmy: wow, that would be such great news. if any of us were going anywhere. and guess what else? tickets to see the lakers are now only $5 a seat! meanwhile, one of trump's top advisors on this, dr. anthony fauci, has had to be assigned security because he's been getting so many threats. who would threaten the one guy holding this country together right now? this is like if you were on a cross-country flight and said, "where is the pilot? i am going to beat his ass."
12:14 am
you know, originally, the experts thought the virus was being spread primarily from sneezes or coughs, but now, they're saying it could be transmitted from talking or breathing. which is unfortunate, because those are my only remaining leisure activities. the droplets can reportedly hang out in the air, which they're not supposed to be doing right now. so mayor bill de blasio announced that citizens of new york should be wearing face masks in public. and here in los angeles, mayor garcetti wore a mask while announcing that we should be wearing masks. that ea that's either a mask or bekeen ey bottom. >> this is the instrument of
12:15 am
your liberation. shouldn't the sign language guy be wearing a mask on his hands? you know batman wears the worst kind of mask. the only thing that isn't covered is his mouth. over the past few weeks, a number of governors have stepped up, whereas others have not. the award for "covidiot of the week" goes to georgia governor brian kemp, whose brain has apparently been in quarantine for a few weeks because yesterday, he suddenly had this very delayed revelation. >> finding out that this virus is now transmitting before people see signs, so the, what we've been telling people from direct from the cdc for weeks now, if you start feeling bad, stay home. those individuals could have been feinfecting people before they ever felt bad. we didn't know that until the last 24 hours. and as dr. toomey told me, this is a game changer. >> jimmy: wait until he finds out were cigarettes. he may never smoke again! is it possible that this man doesn't own a television set? this is interesting.
12:16 am
this is a map based on gps from cell phones that shows who in this country has been social distancing and who has not. the red is the not. and this is a map of americans with mullets. you can see, there's a lot of crossover there. the other thing spreading like a virus is that netflix documentary "tiger king." everyone seems to be watching it, including someone who has been the subject of a documentary of his own. >> i watch about six episodes of this show, and i couldn't brief wh believe what i was looking at. white people! what's with you and wild animals? leave the animals alone. the show is so crazy, but it's so crazy you kind of keep watching. one thing i will say, there's not a shred of doubt in my mind that that lady's husband is tiger sashimi right now. i'm just sayon.
12:17 am
>> jimmy: well, you know, if there are two things he's an expert on, it's football and killing a spouse. imagine the lack of self awareness it takes to be o.j. simpson and go "i think i'll put on a pair gloves and talk about murder." by the way, what golf course is he playing? aren't they all supposed to be closed? probably the biggest day-to-day challenge for parents who are in isolation is spending every waking moment with our children. if there's anything i've learned from this quarantine, it's that all teachers need a raise. even the bad ones. you can't take your kids to the beach or the park. there's nowhere to go. so some moms and dads are getting inventive. ♪ remember when it was fun to ride a bike? those kids never will. and one more item before i sit down, i broke the tragic news the other night that our
12:18 am
network, abc has decided to put the brakes on "the bachelor summer games." which sucks for us, but is also a shame for the great athletes who've been training to have sex with strangers now for four years. but the good news is that we have a new bachelor spin-off, and this one is dr. fauci approved! >> the bachelor summer games may be canceled, but the only pandemic you can't stop is love. introducing "bachelor in quarantine." >> the most dramatic season ever. >> you're the only woman i love, victoria. >> i'm kelsey. >> who will he choose to repopulate the earth. >> hannah ann, will you accept this role? >> of course. >> i can never social distance my heart. "bachelor in quarantine". this time it's love in rubber gloves, followed by a special "women purell all". >> jimmy: all right, we've got a
12:19 am
very special show tonight. we have a special performance from grouplove. and when we come back, we'll check in at home with jennifer aniston. ♪ jimmy kimmel live from his house! >> dicky: abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by sprint! e great service you expect without leaving the safety of your home. sprint.com makes shopping easier by offering free next day shipping and no activation fees on our best new phone deals, like the amazing iphone 11 for just $15 a month when you switch. for now sprint.com is the best way to learn about our plans, buy new phones and get the services you need. stay healthy and go to sprint.com today. for people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay.com
12:20 am
12:21 am
12:22 am
whaso let's do the rightver chanthing, today.ow. let's stay at home. let's wash up.
12:23 am
let's always keep our distance - please, six feet apart at least. let's look after ourselves, as well as others. it will all be worth it. we can all do our part. so those on the front line can do their part. and when this is over, we will all, continue, to thrive. ♪ jimmy kimmel live >> his house! >> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live" from my house. tonight on the show, we have a great performance from a very unique band. their new album is called "healer." grouplove, they're going to perform via group chat, so that will be fun. and now, through the worldwide web, you know her from apple tv. she had a show about friends a
12:24 am
long time ago. live from her bunker, 500 feet below the surface of the earth, say hello to jennifer aniston, hello. >> hello! >> jimmy: i like the glasses. i'm going to wear mine, too, just to >> to keep up? i could take them off, but i'd be squinting the entire time. >> jimmy: looks good. thanks for with being us. >> i'm so happy to be with you. this isn't the only communication i've been having with human beings. >> jimmy: when you talk to people, are you typically using video chat or the old-fashioned way of just the voice phone? >> there's both. i've been doing both a lot. but i've actually discovered a lot of other options. you know, there's face time, there's all sorts of other ways we can access each other through the interweb.
12:25 am
>> jimmy: how long has it been since you have left your house? >> it has been, today's thursday, today's three weeks. three weeks. >> jimmy: three weeks. you like to be in the house by yourself. >> i'm an it's not been much of a challenge. the most challenging thing is watching news and, and what's, you know, trying to digest that that's going on out there, you know. >> jimmy: are you doing that? or are you keeping that away? are you watching a lot of news? >> i, i allow a check-in in the morning, and then i'll do a check-in, in the evening, and that is it, because basically it's rekwurgurgitating the same stuff. >> jimmy: from you reorganizing and going through your house
12:26 am
right now? >> i might have a new ocd situation. not only do i clean constantly, dishes is now my new favorite, favorite thing in the world, because not only are you doing your dishes but you're washing your hands like a lot. organizing, i was a crazy person the first week and then i realizedly realized i had to pull back because i'm going to run out of closets. 30 more days. i've got to pace myself. >> jimmy: did you find anything fun you forgot you who or meant something along the way? >> endless. tons, my treasure, the treasure that i found. one was, um, it was a, it was beta max, an old, like from the old vcr days, and it was my first audition from back in, i was 13, for "search for tomorrow", which is a soap opera
12:27 am
my dad was on back then. >> jimmy: wow. >> i'm dying to see it, but i was 13 years old, and i thought i'd lost it forever, but it was sort of just cleaning out old boxes. >> jimmy: i'm dying to see that. >> i'll get it transferred and i'll show you. actually, i lost the part. i did not get the part if i remember correctly. >> jimmy: really? >> jane krakowski got the part. >> jimmy: wow, what was the part? >> it was for the character t.r., and she was a 13-year-old run away, and i had been visiting my dad at the set. it was shot in new york back then. and i heard, they're on the bulletin board, it was an audition for t.r., a 13-year-old run away, and i'm like, that's me.
12:28 am
>> jimmy: was your dad supportive of that? did he want you to be on the show? >> oh, no, no, no, no, absolutely not. that's why i kind of went around his back, and i called his agent. bobby berry. >> jimmy: wow. >> i was very, i was a real, you know, i know how to, i know how to make things happen. >> jimmy: yeah. yeah. >> and i auditioned. i thought i did great. i was sure i was going to get, and i was also like, my dad's on the show, come on! >> jimmy: i wonder two things. i wonder if your dad kept you from getting that part, and i also wonder if jane krakowski has her audition tape for that as well. wouldn't that be something? >> well, let me tell you something, that would be incredible, if we could dig that up, that would be awesome. you know what else i found? this is the other gem. so then i pulled out an old film reel, like oldie timey film reel, and it was my mom and my
12:29 am
dad, the first year of marriage, and they were on "the dating game." >> jimmy: wow. that's crazy. >> so that is a jewel for me. and if i remember, i remember this correctly, they won, they actually won. doesn't mean winning on the "dating game" will make marriage last. >> jimmy: was it the "dating game" or the "newlywed" game. >> let me go back. sorry, my bad. >> jimmy: oh, that's so great. oh, my god. >> "dating game." it was the "newlywed game." >> jimmy: do you have hobbies? i know you like to do artwork. you have a pottery wheel. are you doing anything like that? >> of course there's, there's puzzle. ellen got me wanting to do puzzles. so i definitely ordered some puzzles. i guess those were selling out like crazy. so i got pretty much the worst puzzle to do.
12:30 am
and then my, oh, my girlfriend sin sent, we have a chain, a couple girlfriends of mine, and she sent this very close-up shot of what looked like a paint brush and a paint by numbers. and she said i'm going to send you a little video installation every day, and as i get further along with the painting, i want you to guess what it is. so i thought of course i want to play that game. i want to do that. so i go to my amazon, or the ama-zone as we call it, and i type in "adult paint by numbers." and then i kind of must have done something completely wrong. and now, because when i, so last night actually, i hadn't even gotten this ordered, because i ordered an easel and then three of these paint by number sets. and then last week the easel comes. and then i got one of those, the notification from amazon saying your packages will not be
12:31 am
arriving until mid may. like gradeat, i have an easel a no art to put on it. then last night it showed up, this huge box from amazon, and i got really excited, what could be in here? it's so big. and i open td, aed it, and it t out, jimmy, i did not buy, i ordered something different than i thought. i thought i ordered paint by numbers. what i in fact ordered was the painting of what i thought i ordered which was a paint by number, and now you see this, i swear this happened last night. i don't understand what's going on. but, so when you see this painting, it was more about i wanted to make it as hard as possible for them to guess what it was. so don't think this is the, although it's lovely. >> jimmy: okay. >> so here we go. [ laughter ]
12:32 am
>> jimmy: wow! whoa! that is -- >> here we go. >> jimmy: wow, that is a beautiful piece. >> huh? >> jimmy: so, are you going to hang that? is that going up in the house? >> i have now three more of these coming, and i don't remember what i ordered, but. >> jimmy: just to be clear, that is the painting you ordered and were planning to paint? >> yes, it was. but look at all the colors. because all i thought was if i could start really small, there's no way they're going to guess, it's a frog with a bow tie playing golf. >> jimmy: it is, yeah. >> you know what i mean. see the golf club down there? >> jimmy: yeah, it hearkens back to a simpler time when frogs could play golf, when the golf course was open. >> i know. >> jimmy: we're going to do something special in a moment. because there's a nurse, a very special nurse in particular who we're going to surprise with something fun. >> oh. >> jimmy: i want to mention that
12:33 am
each night my guest gets to choose the charity, and i'll be making donations to that charity and encourage others to do so. what is the charity you have chosen? >> the charity i've chosen is opportunity fund small business relief fund that is small businesses that have most been affected by covid-19. >> jimmy: yes, that is excellent. a lot of small businesses have been hit very hard. when we come back, jennifer aniston is going to surprise a fan, a woman who is very deserving and in need of a pleasant surprise s we'll come back with jennifer aniston. we'll be right back. ♪ andare having a debate. -i have a back rash. -alright. whoa, mara. i laugh like this. [ laughs obnoxiously ] it's just not my scene. -i couldn't help but over-- -do you like insurance? i love insurance. did you know you can save money bundling home and auto with progressive, and renters can bundle, too? i know, right? [ laughs ]
12:34 am
[ singing continues ] why'd you stop? i was listening. [ microphone feedback ] why'd♪ ou stop? i was listening. ♪ uh-oh. no wifi at your in-law's house? it's switching time. ♪ and now it's netflix time. watch netflix offline. switch to chromebook. ♪ -oh, pete!?! -c'mon man. what? we said pantyhose right? here, eat this..... creamy snickers®. you could use a little smoothness. pete? pete zagarene? get smooth with the fresh-ground nut butters in creamy snickers®.
12:35 am
12:36 am
and i live in san francisco, california.
12:37 am
i have been a sales and sales management professional my whole career. typical day during a work week is i'm working but first always going for a run or going to the gym. i love reading. i love cooking healthy. it's super important to me. i was noticing that i was just having some memory loss. it was really bothering me. so i tried prevagen and it started to work for me. i wish i had taken prevagen five or ten years ago. prevagen. healthier brain. better life. i'd make sure there were more textbooks in schools. i'm a teacher. i've seen the need, but my girlfriend here likes to say ... "don't just talk about it, be about it." and we're about the 2020 census. because when everyone gets counted on the census, it helps inform public funding in our neighborhood for the next ten years! don't just talk about it - -be about it! complete the census online, by phone or by mail. shape your future. start here at 2020census.gov.
12:38 am
>> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live" from my house. it's like we're having a sleepover. i think everyone in the world can agree that no one deserves our support right now more than the medical workers who are putting their lives on the line for ours. and i would like to introduce you to a person we heard about this week. she is a nurse from st. george, utah, her name is kimball fairbanks. hello kimball. how are you? >> hi, i'm good, how are you doing? >> jimmy: tell us what happened so people understand is the situation you're in right now. >> well, a little bit earlier this week i found out that i tested positive for covid-19. so i've had to be furloughed from work and away from my family for two weeks. >> jimmy: you have two children? >> i do. i have a 4-year-old and a 18 month old, both little girls.
12:39 am
>> jimmy: so you can't be with them and can't go to work right now. did you contract this you think from one of the patients at the hospital? >> it's hard to say. we have lots of people come in right now and lots of people that are testing positive. so probably. >> jimmy: how long have you been a nurse? >> i've been a nurse for two years. >> jimmy: and what area of nursing do you specialize in? >> i specialize on a cardiovascular floor, so we do a lot of open-heart surgeries and a lot of things pertaining to the heart. as of right now, though, we're p focussing on covid-19 patients and prepping for all that fun stuff. >> jimmy: now you posted something on facebook recently and tell us what happened here. there's an x ray here. is this your son? >> that's my daughter. >> jimmy: oh, your daughter. okay. >> she, you know, it was like a
12:40 am
mom-of-the-year moment. she may or may not have swallowed a magnetic marble. luckily, there was only one, but she did end up swallowing it. it was a few weeks before i tested positive. and, you know, you had to wait and see if it would pass or they might have to go get it, surgically. so it was definitely the grossest thing that i've ever done as a mom and a nurse. ever had to monitor all of that, and the marble did come out and she was very thrilled. >> jimmy: so, in the middle of taking care of everyone else, when did you start to feel sick? >> um, probably two, three days after my shift last tuesday. yeah. >> jimmy: uh-huh. and how are you feeling? i mean, how bad has it been? i know that the symptoms vary. you look great, by the way. how, how are you feeling on the
12:41 am
inside? >> um, you know, i kind of felt like i got hit by a train, but i think i have just really mild symptoms, you know. feel like a head cold combined with the flu. but overall something that's, it feels decently manageable, so that's good. >> jimmy: that is good. we wanted to cheer you up a little bit. so i'd like you to meet somebody. her name is jennifer. jennifer, if you're joining us here, please say hello to kimball. >> hi, kimball! >> hi! >> hi, honey, it's so good to meet you. >> wow! it's so good to meet you! >> i just have to say, god bless you and all of you that are out there doing what you're doing. i just do, i don't even know how to express my gratitude to everything that you guys are doing and putting your healtris. you're just phenomenal, phenomenal. >> well, thank you. i really appreciate that.
12:42 am
>> are you filieeling better? what does today feel like? >> today feels better. i woke up today and decided i'm not going to be sick any longer. so i'm feeling better. >> wow, good for you. >> jimmy: jen, i don't know if you can see, but how much more excited kimball was to see you than she was to see me. it's remarkable. >> she was expecting to see you. i -- >> i was not expecting to see her. >> jimmy: so kimball, what are you, are you cooking for yourself? what are you doing? >> oh, man. i wish that i could cook for myself, but mainly, i've been having food delivered to me. >> oh, well that's good. that's good, because you know what jimmy cooked up is, is that we're going, you're going to be getting $10,000 gift certificate from post mates. >> jimmy: yes, from post mates.
12:43 am
but you have to use it all in one shot. >> one gift. you get one delivery. >> jimmy: one huge meal. >> for $10,000. >> jimmy: no, you will get as many deliveries as you like, of ur. p p we have gift cards for the nurses. you will go back to work when? will you go back to work soon, you think? >> i think i can go back to work on the 8th. so i'm >> when do you get to see your kids? >> the 8th as well. >> jimmy: the moment you get to
12:44 am
see your kids begagain you're gg to have to go back to work. >> probably, yeah. >> jimmy: like jen said, we're very, very grateful to what you and all these health care workers are doing. it is so far and beyond. it is unbelievable. thank you so much, kimball, for this, and we hope you feel better very soon. >> thank you guys so much. >> mwa! >> jimmy: jen painted a picture for you, too. >> yeah. listen. i could sign this, not painted by me! >> jimmy: wouldn't that look beautiful in your home? >> yeah. >> a long story, kimball. >> i can't wait. >> i could easily give it to you, if would you like it. >> it's beautiful. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you, kimball, and please thank each and every one of the people you work with. doctors, nurses, respiratory therapists, everyone who is
12:45 am
there at the hospital. >> everyone. >> jimmy: we appreciate everything you're doing. thanks again and take care. i hope you feel better very, very soon. okay? >> thank you guys so much. thank you. >> jimmy: thanks to jennifer aniston, thank you very much. >> jimmy: thank you, jen. and most of all, thank you kimball. we'll be right back. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by johnnie walker black labeling. hey allergy muddlers... achoo! do your sneezes turn heads? ♪ try zyrtec. zyrtec starts working hard at hour one and works twice as hard when you take it again the next day. zyrtec. muddle no more. and try zyrtec-d for proven relief of your allergies, sinus pressure, and congestion.
12:46 am
i'm part of a community of problem solvers. we make ideas grow. from an everyday solution... to one that can take on a bigger challenge. we are solving problems that improve lives. to one that can take on a bigger challenge. they are going at the speed some bankof yesteryear.ke but not here. this is capital one. where you can open a new savings account in about 5 minutes and earn 5 times the national average. this is banking reimagined. what's in your wallet? protect your pet with the #1 name in flea and tick protection. frontline plus. trusted by vets for nearly 20 years.
12:47 am
way more than you think. check out this game. yes... galaxy 5g means you will beat your friends- what if i want to show my friend this little guy? calling the whole gang is even better with galaxy 5g. wait a minute, are you bored? obviously imagine a future where the best seats in the house are in your hand. with galaxy 5g (yelling) it's like being there. without being there. ♪ my hygienist doesn't use whesomething like this.aned, she cleans with something like this. it's got a round head. and it's got power. go pro with oral-b. power one on for oral-b's best clean ever. inspired by dentists. oral-b's round brush head surrounds each tooth to remove more plaque along the gum linealthiergums. i'll only use the one that's round. oral-b. brush like a pro. and try oral-b's scientifically formulated rinses.
12:48 am
however you celebrate... let's make it special. easter for everybunny. subway is still serving the subs delicious subs made fresh and easy to get for takeout or delivery. and now, with our family takeout special, get a free footlong when you buy two. ♪ and i like to question your i'm yoevery move.n law. like this left turn. it's the next one. you always drive this slow? how did you make someone i love? that must be why you're always so late. i do not speed. and that's saving me cash with drivewise. my son, he did say that you were the safe option. and that's the nicest thing you ever said to me. so get allstate. stop bossing. where good drivers save 40% for avoiding mayhem, like me. this is my son's favorite color, you should try it. [mayhem] you always drive like an old lady? [tina] you're an old lady.
12:49 am
12:50 am
- ( phone ringing ) - big button, and volume-enhanced phones. get details on this state program. visit right now or call during business hours. and accessoriesphones for your mobile phone. like this device to increase volume on your cell phone. - ( phone ringing ) - get details on this state program visit right now or call during business hours.
12:51 am
♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live" from his house. grouplove is on the way. i think you're going to like that. so please stay up to watch that. this is something we shot last month before we all went to prison, but it's become even more relevant today. it stars a man named guillermo who learns about a revolutionary new way to have spirits delivered directly to your door. ♪ [cheers and applause] >> oh, no! honey! my boss is on his way over for the big steak dinner, and we are out. johnnie walker black. >> why don't you go to the store?
12:52 am
>> because the dog ate my pants. oh, honey, look! >> guillermo, how many times do pull things out of the tv. >> like three more times? >> lucky for you, you can order johnnie walker black on demand, with the spirits network, you can watch free entertainment and have spirits delivered right to your front door. it's almost like pulling it out of the tv. >> oh! >> guillermo, dinner was perfect. you got the big promotion. >> i did? >> yes, son, i guess you remind me of me. >> to guillermo! >> to guillermo. >> to me! >> dicky: to taste and experience johnnie walker black today, visit spiritsnetwork.com and sign up.
12:53 am
>> jimmy: thank you, guillermo, we'll be right back with music from grouplove. this is gonna be america's favorite breakfast. they just don't know it yet. (ding) these are a few of my favorite things. wendy's is changing the game from this... to a breakfast that eats other breakfasts for breakfast. who says you can't have a baconator for breakfast? don't just "grab a coffee..." grab a frosty-ccino instead. and forget that frozen-folded-egg-stuff. all of these have fresh-cracked eggs. one bite and it'll be your new favorite. guaranteed. (ding) try your new favorite today and we'll even deliver it. order by 10am. my skin gets so tired. this new olay serum feels so dewy, and hydrated... gives my skin an extra boost of life. it's full of energy. it finally matches me. i'm denise bidot, and my skin is powerful. and i can face anything with my olay. these are ava's shoulders. they square off, hold firm, bear it all.
12:54 am
this is her physical therapist, covered by blue cross blue shield. these are ava's shoulders. now stronger than ever. this is what medicare from blue cross blue shield does for ava. and with plans that fit every budget, imagine what we can do for you. this is the benefit of blue. ...we hid a treator blocking technology... ...from the ultimate nose. ♪ if it can block odors from that nose, it can block odors from yours. be happy, it's glad™. show me reality... tv. where my hobbits at? play lord of the rings. play my "straight outta the shire" playlist.
12:55 am
i want to see the king. find lebron. search more cartoons. play the last o.g. take me to the streets, play sesame street. me want more cookies. find the things you love with a voice command. introducing at&t tv. with live tv and access to streaming apps. plug in and watch, with easy self-setup. shipped directly to you. ♪ (vo) command picture hanging strips hold strong and remove cleanly. command. do. no harm. wityour money almostes offered feels like it's frozen. with capital one, you can open a new savings account
12:56 am
in about 5 minutes and earn five times the national average. this is banking reimagined. what's in your wallet? athis moment is for our families and our communities.
12:57 am
that is why our state is responding at every level of government to slow the spread of covid-19, while ensuring our most vulnerable californians have what they need. but we can each do our part. and it starts by staying home. i know this is a big sacrifice for so many, but staying home saves lives. learn more at covid19.ca.gov.
12:58 am
>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you by mercedes benz, the best or nothing. >> jimmy: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live" from his house. my house. in the middle of our street. where we've been for weeks now. many of us have been working from home over video chat, i guess that's exactly what i've been doing. and our musical guest tonight is working on video chat, too. they have a new album called "healer" and here now with a social distance performance of the song "deleter" from los angeles and atlanta gr ready one, two, three, four
12:59 am
♪ ♪ ♪ yeah the carwash and the airplanes and the highways ♪ ♪ we've been here for too long for too long ♪ for too long ♪ ♪ am i anxious or just martyred all this darkness be ♪ too long for too long ye yeah ah ♪ all this time i thought you were a leader it turns out you're only a deleter ♪ ♪ tell your friends that you're okay you're never gonna see them anyway ♪
1:00 am
♪ all this time i thought you were a leader it turns out you're only a deleter ♪ ♪ no no no no na na na na na na na na na no ♪ ♪ no no yeah yeah ♪ it's the future and i'm braindead ♪ ♪ yeah i'm destitute yeah i feel no roots anymore anymore ♪ ♪ take another picture show 'em what you're doing doing ♪ ♪ and how we built a lighthouse out of all these godforsaken ruins ♪ ♪ we know it's coming none of this can live the world will recover ♪
1:01 am
♪ once you put us in the past yeah ♪ ♪ all this time i thought you were a leader it turns out you're only a deleter ♪ ♪ tell your friends that you're okay you're never gonna see them anyway ♪ ♪ all this time i thought you were a leader it turns out you're only a deleter ♪ ♪ no no no no na na na na na na na na na no ♪ ♪ no no i don't know where to go ♪ ♪ bring the pain bring the pain i'm braindead ♪ ♪ i just know i know you're gonna
1:02 am
let me out so bring the pain ♪ ♪ nothing really matters anymore my baby ♪ ♪ all this time we're burning with the fever it turns out i've always been a hear ♪ no no no no na na na na na na na na na ♪ ♪ all this time i thought you were a leader it turns out you're only a deleter ♪ ♪ no no no no na na na na na na na na na no ♪ ♪ no no yeah yeah ♪ ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by the 2020 gle,
1:03 am
mercedes beps, the best or nothing. and i live in san francisco, california. i have been a sales and sales management professional my whole career. typical day during a work week is i'm working but first always going for a run or going to the gym.
1:04 am
i love reading. i love cooking healthy. it's super important to me. i was noticing that i was just having some memory loss. it was really bothering me. so i tried prevagen and it started to work for me. i wish i had taken prevagen five or ten years ago. prevagen. healthier brain. better life. nissan has been with you through thick and thin. and now is no different. we're offering payment options for current owners our service departments we're are here to help.options and for future owners, we're offering no payments for 90 days this is help when you need it. >> jimmy: well, that is our program for this evening. i would like to thank jennifer
1:05 am
aniston, our friend, she was there for us. i also want to thank our new friend, kimball, and all the doctors and nurses and medical professionals who are working so hard. thanks to grouplove. i do want to apologize to matt damon. we easily could have made time for him tonight. like right now, i could have easily made time for him right here, and i decided i didn't want him. thank you for watching, i hope it was more fun than color coding your bookshelves. and buenos noches.
1:06 am
1:07 am
who honorably serve, but are so much more. here's to the moms and dads, the grandmas and grandpas. here's to the athletes, the adventurous, the determined. here's to those who have better things to do than worry about their benefits. because now there's ebenefits, where you can easily access and track all your va and dod benefits online, all in one place. register for your free account today at ebenefits.va.gov. then get back out there.

357 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on