tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC April 17, 2018 12:37am-1:38am PDT
♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- kelly clarkson, from "designated survivor," actor kal penn, music from kelly clarkson. featuring the 8g band with jim riley. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. ♪ >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. former white house communications director anthony scaramucci today called for chief of staff john kelly to resign saying, "he's lost the locker room." not only that, but i think his
star player might have a concussion. [ light laughter ] according to politico, senior white house adviser jared kushner lost his top secret security clearance on friday, because as it turns out, you have to be 18! [ laughter and applause ] you've got to be 18-years-old. president trump today endorsed senator ted cruz for re-election ahead of next week's republican primary in texas -- [ audience boos ] and when he heard that, ted cruz smiled so big, eight babies started crying. [ laughter and applause ] an msnbc host said this morning that first lady melania trump and ivanka trump have been given fake jobs at the white house. but melania says it's no problem for her because she's used to faking it. [ laughter and applause ]
according to cnn white house chief of staff, john kelly he was not happy about ivanka trump's trip to south korea for the olympic closing ceremony. i guess my question is, how can you tell? that's the happiest he's ever looked. [ light laughter ] that picture was taken while he was watching his niece play with a basket of puppies. [ laughter ] this one -- that was taken at "splash mountain." [ laughter ] to be fair, he does smile sometimes. here he is watching the end of "marley & me." [ laughter ] former president obama recently said at a private speech that people didn't hear about the drama in his white house. like the time joe biden spilled four loko on the constitution. [ laughter ] "oh, barack. i did it. [ light laughter ] i joe'd it up." a new poll has found that 62% of americans think that schools should be required to have metal detectors.
said one student, "this is so unfair." [ laughter and applause ] new research suggests that climate change will threaten 70% of the world's king penguin population by the end of this century. learn more in the new movie "unhappy feet." [ audience ohs ] [ light laughter ] can i be honest with you? that went twice as well as i thought it would. [ laughter ] a white house photographer yesterday captured images of senior adviser stephen miller appearing to fall asleep during president trump's meeting with governors. if he wants to stay awake, he should look at a picture of stephen miller and he'll never sleep again. [ light laughter ] fans have begun speculating online about the potential villain for the upcoming "wonder woman" sequel. oh, i think it's obvious. [ laughter and applause ]
anhaeuser-busch has announced it will begin selling a new organic beer called "michelob ultra pure gold." as in, "sorry all we have left is michelob ultra pure gold." [ laughter ] and finally, a new study found that ride-hailing apps "uber" and "lyft" are causing more traffic in new york city. of course, any new yorker will tell you, the best way to get around is still a rat rickshaw. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show for you tonight. [ applause ] here to chat about the new season of "the voice" and to perform a track off her excellent new album "meaning of life," kelly clarkson is here, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] one of my favorites. he stars in "designated survivor" on abc. a fantastic guy. kal penn is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] so you're here for a good one. you know, before we get to that,
i'm in my 40s now. i'm married. i have a kid. but nothing, and i mean, nothing makes me feel older than when i realize i don't understand the new slang terms teenagers are using. and it seems these days, teen slang terms are evolving so fast that sometimes it's hard to keep up. so we decided to give you a little primer on new teen slang terms in a segment we call "seth explains teen slang." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our first new teen slang term is "chronic the hedgehog." [ laughter ] "chronic the hedgehog." this is someone who is so high, they can only move around by rolling on the floor. [ laughter ] here it is in a sentence. "i got so baked last night i had to roll to the bathroom. on the bright side, on the way i found three rings underneath the sofa #chronicthehedgehog." [ laughter and applause ] this next slang term was inspired by the winter olympics' closing ceremony. let's see the definition. it's "an unnecessarily grandiose exit."
[ laughter ] for example, "mike was entering hour number two of his good-byes and we were, like, 'bitch, just go home already.' we're trying to play some flip cup. #closingceremony." moving on, we have "britwhit." this is an exchange student you think is smart because he has a british accent, but he's actually an idiot. [ laughter ] for example, "i've been cheating off nigel in math class all year and then i saw him in the bathroom screaming, 'bollocks! i got me foot caught in the loo.' he a britwit." [ laughter and applause ] next up, it's "sweatflicks." here's the definition, it's the dread of watching a movie with your parents when there are a lot of sex scenes in it. [ laughter ] here it is in a sentence, "not sure who picked 'basic instinct' as our family movie of the week, but it was a bad choice. #sweatflicks." [ laughter and applause ] this next one has really taken off with the teens. i'm pretty sure every teenager
has used it, it's "george bernard shawty." this is the hot girl in the school who is way too into drama club. for example, "i really like heather, but every time i ask her out, that george bernard shawty says, 'this bud of love by summer's ripening, breath may prove a beautious flower.' then she told me to exit stage left." you guys remember brunch davidians, right? they were a cult in waco, texas, led by david koresh in the '90s. very hot with teenagers. [ light laughter ] not like comedy writers who are in their 40s who write this piece. [ light laughter ] this is a thing that's hot with teenagers. and their new slang term is inspired by them. it's "brunch davidians." it means a group of friends who stay at brunch so long, the wait staff resorts to force to get them to leave. [ light laughter ] here it is in a sentence, "after the seventh pitcher of sangria, it was clear that none of us were going anywhere. soon our table was surrounded by a team of waiters and the manager.
they laid siege on us for hours and we lost five devote 'brunch davidians' in the raid. [ laughter ] to this day, i still remember kyle's last words. you can take my freedom, but you'll never take my mimosa." [ laughter and applause ] where they letting teens have mimosas at brunch? [ laughter ] there's a ton of holes in "brunch davidians." [ laughter ] our next new teen slang term is "corsage a trois." it means when you're having so much trouble getting the corsage on your date, that you have to ask for help from a third person. [ laughter ] for example, "i couldn't get the corsage on christy's dress so she had to ask her friend heather to join in. we thought it would be fun, but it was awkward, and we felt weird after. #corsageatrois." [ laughter and applause ] that -- teenager -- that's a teenager thing. and that one works. [ light laughter ]
and finally, it's "spiffscreen." it means when you watch the first half of a movie sober and then the second half of it high out of your mind. [ laughter and applause ] for example, "i thought 'the post' was pretty good until i toked up an hour in. then i thought tom hanks he was talking directly to me. [ laughter ] #spliffscreen, but it was still better than the time my family 'sweat flicksed' through 'fatal attraction.'" [ laughter and applause ] this has been "seth explains teen slang." we'll be right back, with more "late night," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ hey grandpa. hey, kid. really good to see you. you too. you tell grandma you were going fishing again? maybe. (vo) the best things in life keep going. that's why i got a subaru, too.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everyone. president trump vowed to do everything in his power to fight the opioid epidemic, which takes the lives of 174 people each day ravaging, communities and ripping families apart. so what has trump actually done to tackle this issue and who's he putting in charge for this enormously important task? it's time for "the check-in." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: america has about 4% of the world's population but about 27% of the world's drug overdose deaths. for now, opioid addiction is one of those uniquely american problems like type 2 diabetes and adults wearing shirts with disney characters on them. [ laughter ] "honey, we're going to a fancy dinner." "that's why i'm wearing my scrooge mcduck."
[ laughter ] now among other promises to fight the opioid epidemic, trump said he would increase funding to give resources to states that needed it the most right away. so how did that go? >> is the federal government doing all it can to combat america's opioid epidemic? former commissioner of the food and drug administration says no. >> we have heard a lot of talks from the administration on this. but we've yet to see the president take the kind of serious action that this emergency demands. >> it just is a pitiful, pitiful story when it comes to the amount of real federal effort and leadership on the part of the president. >> seth: wow! and he's saying that on fox news. that's what trump watches to feel good about himself. that's like if the kid tuned into "mr. rogers" and mr. rogers said, "news flash, snotnose. i don't want to be your neighbor. [ laughter ] how about that?" so the man speaking so bluntly about trump's innaction is former democratic lawmaker patrick kennedy, who also happens to be on trump's opioid commission. and has called it a sham and
charade saying, "this and the administration's other efforts to address the epidemic are tantamount to reshuffling chairs on the titanic." but, of course, this isn't the titanic. if it were, trump would have already tried to billy zane his way on to a lifeboat. >> i have a child! i have a child! please, i have a child. >> seth: "his name is eric." [ laughter ] "father, i'm 34!" [ laughter ] now one of the few concrete plans trump did announce to confront this issue was that the federal government would start a massive advertising campaign to get people, especially children, not to want to take drugs in the first place. ugh, we already tried this and it didn't work. but of course that's not stopping trump from trying. >> there is nothing desirable about drugs. they're bad. [ laughter ] >> seth: the problem -- the problem of course, is that there is something desirable about drugs. they make you feel great. that's why we have a huge problem with drug addiction and no problem at all with celery
addiction. [ laughter ] you never hear anyone say, "yo, man, you got a stalk?" [ laughter ] and for years, doctors and pharmaceutical companies pushed opioids for everything from root canals to a twisted ankle and everyone said, "cool," because the drugs made them feel great. so we'll ask you again, mr. president, how do you prevent addiction? >> maybe by talking to youth and telling them no good, really bad for you in every way. [ laughter ] >> seth: do you think anti-drug ads work on americans? these are the same people who saw the commercial for tide pods and thought, "i want to eat that." [ laughter and applause ] but i'm sure to lead this important effort, trump chose someone with experience and impeccable credentials in the field. so let me just take a big sip of water and find out who it is. >> kellyanne conway will lead the white house's efforts to
combat the opioid problem across the country. >> seth: were you expecting a spit take? because that part of me -- that part of me died months ago. [ laughter ] reports say kellyanne isn't even heeding the advice of actual policy experts of those most affected by the this tragedy. now before kellyanne and trump, tackling this issue has largely been the role of the office of national drug control policy. under the previous administration, the small office was made up of public health experts and law enforcement who had first-hand experience dealing with this issue. here's what it's been like under trump. >> the office of national drug control policy, the entity charged with coordinating the federal government's counter-drug response still does not have a permanent director. >> the president is expected to slash the budget out of the office of national drug control policy. >> guess what? this administration, which talks a big game about opioids, just proposed cutting the agency's budget by 95%.
>> seth: that's right. last year, the white house allocated about $368 million for the office. and for next year's budget they're only asking for about $17 million. the office trying to stop the opioid epidemic is getting less than mark wahlberg got for "daddy's home 2." [ laughter ] and just hearing that news, six more people started taking opioids. [ laughter ] but perhaps we should have seen this coming. the former deputy chief of staff at o.n.d.c.p. was taylor weyeneth who was only 24 years old. but it's not just him. according to politico, among the people working on the public education campaign that trump promised is andrew giuliani, rudy giuliani's 32-year-old son, who's a white house public liaison and has no background in drug policy. well, at least he's 32. which, if you're doing the math, means giuliani had him when he was 105. [ laughter ] now trump's budget proposals did ask for additional funding to fight the opioid epidemic and the justice department recently announced that it would go after opioid manufacturers and distributors. those are positive steps. but at the same time, trump is trying also trying to repeal the affordable care act and slash
medicaid programs that already help people who are addicted. and that is um -- what's the phrase i'm looking for? >> no good. really bad. >> seth: this has been "the check-in." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with kelly clarkson, everyone! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ oh you're simply the best ♪ better than all the rest ♪ better than anyone ♪ anyone i've ever met ♪ i'm stuck on your heart, the best just got bigger. ♪ i hang on every word you say applebee's new bigger bolder grill combos.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: welcome back, everybody. give it up for the 8g band right over there! [ cheers and applause ] also back with us tonight, he's the drummer and band leader for multiplatinum country group rascal flatts, whose latest album "back to us" is available now. for tour dates and more check out rascalflatts.com. jim riley is here, everybody.
give it up for jim. [ cheers and applause ] thanks for being here, jim. our first guest tonight is a grammy award-winning singer and songwriter whose latest album "meaning of life" is available now. she's also the newest coach on nbc's hit show "the voice," which airs mondays and tuesdays at 8:00 p.m here on nbc. let's take look. >> do you know who sang that song? >> molly. molly just sang that. >> no, you don't. >> yes. >> i know who sang that song. that's one of my favorite singer/songwriters. >> sweet, me, too. >> patty griffin, girl. >> yes. >> do you want to do soulful, country rock or -- >> yeah. country americana. >> come on. >> yeah. [ laughter ] oh, gosh! okay. well, i've won country awards. and i -- you know. patty griffin -- >> why are you selling yourself to me? talk to her. [ laughter ] >> people only believe if you're country on this show that blake can help you, but that is not true. i have had no help from blake and i've been successful in country music. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i'm just saying. >> thank you. >> yes. >> thank you. >> seth: please welcome back to the show our very good friend, kelly clarkson, everyone. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
♪ >> seth: i love it! i love! >> i love -- >> seth: i love! i love having you here. >> thank you! i'm going to try and sit. i have such short legs always on these shows. >> seth: oh -- >> i'm always like this. >> seth: well, they'd sent you -- you have them always. not just on the show. [ laughter ] >> no, i know, but the chairs are so damn deep. >> seth: oh, really? >> yeah. >> seth: well -- we'll -- >> so i'm just going to do the lean. >> seth: i'm going to talk to you about whatever you think is best chair-wise for next time. >> okay. >> seth: we're going to have a special. >> thank you. >> seth: yeah. whatever. >> gosh, seth, bring you a-game. [ laughter ] >> seth: i love, by the way, that you're going right at blake shelton. >> oh. >> seth: this is what i'd hoped with you as a coach. >> yes. >> seth: are you enjoying the transition to being a coach on "the voice?" >> yes! and honestly i love -- that's what makes this season especially fun, i think, even for the crew. like, adam and blake and i all know each other. like, and they know alicia really well because they've done a couple of seasons with her. so, it makes really fun because the banter will go in on each other. >> seth: yeah. >> and no one's like, "you're so mean!"
>> seth: yeah. >> like, nobody care -- you know, we're just, like, we're messing around, you know? so, but yeah, we'll go -- i do go in on blake a lot. >> seth: yeah. that would seem -- >> but he's kind of a giant target. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] he's a giant man. >> yeah. >> seth: like, when he comes on this show -- >> he is. >> seth: his feet go through the floor, like they're -- [ laughter ] >> yeah. every time we do a photo together for, like, any promo you see, like, i'm always on, like, two steps. [ laughter ] like, 'cause, or otherwise i look like an oompa loompa. [ laughter ] yeah. yeah. >> seth: do you find -- >> because i'm like 5'3", so -- >> seth: are you -- do you like selling yourself as a coach? or is that a hard part of the show for you? >> i love it. i'm so competitive. >> seth: yeah. >> like, yeah, i'm kind of annoyingly competitive. i think a lot of my friends are like, "oh, you're -- you were so fun last night." i'm like, "well, wait, because it -- it's a lot of personality -- [ laughter ] coming at you, blake." but i am so excited about it and i'm competitive. so i do enjoy it. but it sucks when they don't pick you. >> seth: yeah. >> you feel defeated. [ laughter ] >> seth: do you -- so -- oh, so even -- >> you feel like you're crap and they're like, "i'm not going to be on your team. >> seth: even when a contestant, you've had all this success, even when a contestant on "the voice" doesn't choose you, you take it personally.
>> oh, my god, that's like all of us. like, we have a million people be like, "you're awesome." and, like, the one turd you're like, "why don't they think i'm great? [ laughter ] what did i do wrong?" you know? and it's like, "what." >> seth: and then you say to the million people who like you, like, "why are you so stupid?" [ laughter ] >> "why did you lie to me?" >> seth: "you liars!" >> yeah. it was not great. >> seth: i actually know you to be competitive because we -- >> yes. >> seth: did something, last time we hung out we did something called "day drinking with seth and kelly." >> yes. >> seth: and you told me you were not a big drinker -- >> i'm not. >> seth: and we drank a lot. >> yes. [ light laughter ] >> seth: you matched me drink for drink. >> i did, but here's the thing. you tricked me. because i thought, like, it was maybe one of those tv things where you, like, really don't drink -- [ laughter ] and like, i was so happy when it came out because, like, there's is a solid five minutes where i didn't talk and all i did was laugh. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> that they had to edit out. like, i was so drunk! >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> like, it was so sad that i am a lightweight. >> seth: i was so drunk that you were getting ready for the last thing -- because we went on the roof of the hotel to scream things out. >> yes. that's what you should do when you're drunk.
>> seth: and i fell asleep on the roof of the hotel. [ laughter ] but we actually have a clip. this is us after probably about ten drinks each in only two hours. >> it's amazing. >> seth: look, the important thing is that we're on the roof and we've each written things for the other person to yell -- >> yes. >> seth: from the roof. because we've been drinking all afternoon. all right. i'm going to yell one first. >> okay. you pick one. >> seth: i tried breast-feeding and it kind of worked! [ laughter ] >> i love the movie "from justin to kelly!" [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, i love it, too. >> it's good. >> seth: it's so good. >> my moves are good. >> seth: it's very underrated. >> my dance moves. it's underrated. [ laughter ] >> oh, my god, we're so drunk. >> seth: so drunk. you -- [ cheers and applause ] >> i love that it's one -- like, when you're drunk everything is one word. >> seth: oh, yeah. >> like, it's like -- [ indiscernible ] >> seth: i don't know if you noticed this but i -- when i was leaving i said, "oh, god, i haven't said good-bye to kelly," and i went over and said good-bye. and everybody told me later that i had just said good-bye to you. [ laughter ] >> that's okay, because you know what's funny? i didn't know that.
>> seth: oh, okay, good. [ laughter ] >> i was legit hammered. >> seth: and you had to go to -- >> to my children! [ laughter ] >> seth: you went to your children? >> i did. luckily my husband was there. >> seth: yeah. >> and their qualified nanny that takes care of children. [ laughter ] oh, don't take my children away. [ laughter ] no, i literally, though, it's kind of awesome because i've never been day drinking. literally, that was my one and only time. >> seth: yeah. >> and it's awesome because you don't get hung over. >> seth: yeah. >> because you sober up by 6:30. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. [ laughter ] and then you're, like, "well, let's do this." >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. i got this. >> seth: you -- and speaking of your kids, are your kids now, because i know you bring them on the road with you all the time. >> i bring them here. they're here. >> seth: they're here. >> yeah. >> seth: and that's really great. >> yeah. >> seth: you spend a lot of time with them. obviously, you wouldn't see them that much because you're on the road so much. >> no, we work far too much. yeah. >> seth: do they -- are they excited now? do they know your songs? are they -- >> oh, yes. >> seth: okay. >> but, my daughter's hilarious. because she has no time for kelly clarkson singing. like, it's like -- we'll start singing and she'll be like, "shh." [ laughter ] she'll go right -- "shh."
and i'm, like, "oh, my bad." >> seth: oh, so you got to wait -- >> people pay for this but whatever. [ laughter ] like, she sush -- she shushes me. yeah, my son still likes it, but actually he'll go, "ahh!" [ laughter ] like, when you start singing and he doesn't like the song he'll go, "ohh!" like -- >> seth: very -- >> i should test my albums on him. >> seth: yeah. very traumatic. >> i know! >> seth: it seems like your life with your children is very traumatic. >> i know. well, not everyone sounds like julie andrews in a field, y'all, so -- it's like, at least i try. >> seth: now, i know that your mom is very proud of you. >> yes. >> seth: to the point of maybe -- >> oh. >> seth: maybe telling everybody? >> yeah, my mom is going to love this. you're welcome, mom. but i got a call a spade a spade. she is hilarious. like, my sister and my brother-in-law will say -- she'll go to, like, a doctor's office and within five minutes, he will know that she's my mom. like, because she'll just drop it on an airplane. she'll just drop my name, let the stewardess know. she's like, "people take better care of you when they know that i'm your mom." and i'm like -- [ laughter ]
and, like, literally we're performing, she drops it everywhere. and we were performing one time in -- it was like a cowboys, like the -- the stadium before this big one and i was on a star and it was like a thanksgiving game. and i said, "okay, y'all can come to the field." it was like -- but i was, like, "mom, you can't leave, like, where we're at. you can't go to the players." >> seth: you can't wander off. >> you can't wander. she wanders! [ light laughter ] and, like, anyways, all of a sudden i finished the anthem. she wasn't listening at all. and she's over there talking to the players. she's, like, introducing herself, "i'm kelly clarkson's mom." [ laughter ] like, to the players who don't give a -- that she's my mom. [ laughter ] like, they don't care. >> seth: also -- >> like -- >> seth: it blows her theory of like she's doing it because they'll be nicer to her. like, what can a -- >> she's hilarious. >> seth: what can a defensive lineman do for your mother? [ laughter ] >> i don't know! she's so -- and it is sweet because she's so proud. like, so it's actually endearing. but it's hilarious. my sister and brother-in-law are like, "no." when they're on a plane they're like, "don't you mention her. don't you mention it." [ laughter ] like, it's like -- she's actually sweet and that makes you feel good, but it's like a mom, right?
>> seth: yeah. >> like, yeah. >> seth: mom's are going to mom. >> she wasn't a momager so that's what i like. >> seth: that's good. >> yeah. >> seth: yeah. >> those are the worst! >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. >> seth: so you dodged a bullet. >> yeah. >> seth: we were also saw each other at the golden globes. >> yes. >> seth: and this photo -- >> we saw each other. >> seth: for lovers of cinema, this is really great. you met -- you had never met him before. >> no. >> seth: you met steve carell. >> yes. >> seth: who one of his most famous lines in a movie -- >> yes. >> seth: was kelly clarkson. >> yeah, why not? [ laughter ] yeah >> seth: yeah. so what was your conversation with steve like? >> well, first of all, i asked him - i asked him. and i was like, you know, i didn't know if he was nice or not. but i was like, "is this like a compliment?" [ laughter ] because you were like in pain and you were like -- >> seth: yeah, so in "40-year-old virgin" -- >> yeah. >> seth: when he got his hair ripped off he screamed, "kelly clarkson." >> yeah, and he really did get it ripped out and he really say my name and it was really unscripted. [ laughter ] and i was like, "is that a compliment?" his wife proceeded to tell me, like, "no, it's a compliment. like, he's a fan." and he, like, recalled, like, some moment i was on tv, like, years prior, like -- i was like, "oh, you are -- you are a fan." like -- >> seth: oh, wow! >> he was so lovely.
like, because sometimes you meet people and they're turds. >> seth: yeah. >> we've all met them. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> and, yeah. and then you're, like, "i never want to meet anybody again." [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> but then you meet people like steve. >> seth: yeah, he's just lovely. >> and like you. and y'all are cool. you're so nice. >> seth: you also met meryl streep. >> i -- she might have caressed my face. [ laughter ] >> seth: she did! >> like -- >> seth: she touched your face? >> yeah, we're like -- >> seth: i met her and got a firm hand shake. yeah. [ laughter ] >> she touched you. >> seth: well -- >> yeah. >> seth: i was happy with that -- >> i was -- >> seth: i didn't know there was another level of -- >> yeah. >> seth: face caressing. >> she -- it was funny, because looking back -- because i didn't know it was all going to be televised which is -- it is so embarrassing to watch yourself be an idiot. but -- so obviously i don't watch me at all ever on tv. but anyways, she -- i came down, i was like, "i can i meet you?" and then i was like, "i'm such a fan." it was so awkward. and she was like, "yeah, and meet all of us." and, like, she carried me towards the others. [ laughter ] because she was, like, probably scared, like -- [ laughter ] because, like -- >> seth: "oh, you like actors?" >> yes! >> seth: "here's a whole room of them!" [ laughter ] >> she was like, "meet all of
us!" don't touch me, like -- >> seth: but you -- >> she was really nice. >> seth: you have worked with you before. >> meryl? >> seth: yeah, well, you -- >> oh, well. >> seth: you do a podcast. >> she's my co-host. yes. >> seth: called -- >> i do a webisode. >> seth: a webisode -- >> called "a minute and a glass of wine." >> seth: "a minute and a glass of wine." >> she's my co-host. i beat -- >> seth: and she's your co-host. >> yeah. but it's a cardboard cutout. >> it is a cardboard cutout. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> no, because my agency, i mean, everybody -- it kind of went viral because i looked like such an idiot. and so i just -- he, like, sent me this. and it's literally, seth, like my favorite gift i have ever received. >> seth: oh, you got a -- you love your cardboard cutout of meryl streep? >> she traveled with me to new york. she was -- [ laughter ] we put her on the plane just carrying her like it's normal. [ laughter ] and she totally thinks i'm a freak. i might be weird, stage five clinger. >> seth: yeah. i got to be honest, now your mom saying you're her daughter on a plane seems a lot less weird. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: when you're rolling -- >> i know. >> seth: in hot with a cardboard meryl streep. >> i am. [ laughter ] it's a little stage five clinger. but i really do just appreciate her. i think she's just really awesome. >> seth: she is really awesome. >> but i know it's just a joke,
and i know it's funny because now i just travel with it. like, meryl's my co-host. >> seth: yeah. >> she doesn't know it. >> seth: she doesn't know it. [ laughter ] >> but, you're great in my webisodes. [ laughter ] >> nailed it! >> seth: you're -- you are great all the time. >> oh. >> seth: and i'm so happy you are here and you're sticking around to do a couple of songs for us. >> thank you, yes, thank you. >> seth: and i'm looking forward to that, as always. >> i love -- [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: kelly clarkson, everybody! we'll be right back with kal penn. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ join t-mobile and the whole family can stay connected with new iphones. which is great... ...unless your parents thought you were studying. aren't exams this week? somebody's busted. so join t-mobile, buy an iphone 8, get an iphone 8 on us. all on america's best unlimited network. only at t-mobile.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our next guest is a talented actor you know from the series "house," as well as the "harold and kumar" movies. he stars in "designated survivor." its midseason premiere airs wednesday night on abc. let's take a look. >> if the chronicle's coverage of the administration has been unfriendly, we need to court them a bit more. >> okay. >> and when deveraux asked if the president was accepting counsel from the secretary of defense. >> i said with the way the president makes decisions -- >> it was not a matter of public debate. which, yes, is true, but it's so combative. >> emily, i was thinking fire in there. >> that doesn't mean you can fire back. >> my options are limited. i'm defending an administration that hasn't taken decisive action on anything in the last ten weeks. >> you can't defend us if you're
taking the bait. >> seth: please welcome to the show kal penn, everyone! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> seth: how are you? >> what is up, my friend? how are you? >> seth: i am -- this must be so surreal for you. you play a press secretary on "designated survivor." the press secretary. >> i do. yeah. >> seth: you also served in the obama administration. >> i did. in the office of public engagement? >> yeah. >> seth: and here is a couple of photos. [ laughter ] this is the real you with obama. >> right. >> seth: and that's tv you with kiefer sutherland. >> correct. yes. [ laughter ] >> seth: now not a lot of people get to live both lives. >> it is an amazing country that we live in. >> seth: yeah. >> yes, yes. >> seth: and, like, i guess, when i see shows that take place, or when i think about the white house, i think of shows and television and film has informed my opinion of the white house. is that what it was like for you
before you started working there? >> so before i worked there, i was a huge fan of the show "the west wing." >> seth: sure. >> i still am. and i thought that -- you know how they always order chinese food when they're there at midnight. >> seth: yeah. >> so the first week in the real white house, we're pulling an all-nighter. and i'm super psyched, because i'm ready to order the chinese food. >> seth: yeah, of course. [ light laughter ] >> and then, i find out that you're not actually allowed to in the real white house, because secret service won't let you. 'cause people can poison the food. 'cause they know where it's going. >> seth: yeah. >> and i'm like, "oh, well great, so we're just going to work." [ light laughter ] that's good. >> seth: secret service is such a buzz kill. has -- are you informed at all by the current press secretary in your portrayal of the press secretary of the white house? >> so we want to do things the right way. >> seth: sure. okay. [ cheers and applause ] why not? >> so the last press secretary under obama, josh earnest, was very nice in letting me shadow him for a while. but, i also looked at president bush's press secretary briefings, just to kind of get a little bit of a sense of what that job actually entails. so no, not the current. >> seth: gotcha.
so, yeah. and you've looked at republican press secretaries and democratic press secretaries. this is nonpartisan up until this moment. >> it's not partisan. it's also -- our show exists, like, i think the last president that's referenced is kennedy. >> seth: oh, okay. >> and then there are no more recent presidential reference. and i had also like -- i mean, obviously, i have strong political convictions. i want everybody to like the show. >> seth: of course. >> and it reminds me when we had just released "harold and kumar escape from guantanamo bay." it was during the bush administration. and i was in d.c. for an event and ran into one of president bush's senior advisers who pulled me aside and said, "just want to let you know, that guantanamo movie is hilarious." and i said, "well, you know, like we smoked weed with, like your boss, right? like, in the movie." [ talking over each other ] >> seth: yeah. you did smoke with a fake bush. >> right. and they thought it was hilarious. i'm like, this is why i love what we do. is that, you should be able to enjoy it. >> seth: enjoy it. >> yeah. >> seth: yeah. i'm glad as well. when you worked in the office, you did a lot of youth engagement. >> i did. >> seth: when you were young.
how have you felt about watching these parkland students and their activism in the recent weeks? >> man, it's -- they're incredible. obviously, we know the faces and names of like, these eight or ten kids who have the energy and they're out there all of the time and they're inspirational. what i think is also amazing is that, you know, that school is what, 3,200 kids? so you literally have a couple thousand kids who are also advocating that don't necessarily feel comfortable being on camera and are doing really hard work behind the scenes. i have a couple of friends who have been down there recently and were telling me the stories about just the tons of kids who are doing this advocacy. it's really inspiring. and i watch the news and read the stuff that they post on twitter and i'm like, "this is the moment to really take action." >> seth: yeah, it's really -- it's a special moment to be living through. i want to ask about news that came out today, that i guess it happened friday, that jared kushner had his security clearance downgraded. >> sure. >> seth: did you have to go through that process and what was it like? if so, being an actor getting a security clearance, especially one who was in "harold and kumar." >> sure, yeah. [ light laughter ] i did have to fill out a
security clearance form. it's called the sf-86. have you been fired from a job? >> seth: i have, sure. >> as have i. most actors have. so there's a part on the form. the point of the form is that -- by the way, you fill it out yourself. all of this nonsense, of like, "well, i was a billionaire so my assistant did it -- no. this form is so intimate that you need to actually spend the hours and hours to fill it out. it's really thick. so all these excuses they're making up of like, "we didn't know." no, you knew you lied on the form. >> seth: also, forms, you don't need to know, because the form has all the questions. >> right. >> seth: when people are like, "i didn't," it's the first form i filled out. >> right, right. >> seth: but did you answer the question on the form? >> you supply, correct. >> seth: yeah. >> so one of the questions is, "have you ever been fired from a job and why?" and so, of course, you answered everything honestly, so i said, "yes." and it says, "why were you fired if you were at fault?" i said, "i was at fault," why did you get fired? was fired for not being funny enough. [ light laughter ] because i got fired off a sitcom. it was a sitcom pilot. and then you do a number of interviews before they give you your clearance with the fbi. and the fbi guys are like snickering quietly. "so, um, sir, we have to ask
you, sir, about not being funny enough?" [ light laughter ] yeah. that was a real thing. >> seth: and now, you are writing a memoir about this incredible life you've had that's crossed over into different worlds. how is it approaching an undertaking like that? >> yeah, so i've never written something of that magnitude and i'm a huge fan of like, you know, mindy kaling's books. >> seth: sure. >> and tina fey. especially her audio book which -- >> seth: it's fantastic. >> i listen to constantly. so i wanted to be able to see if i could merge some of these more ridiculous, fun, hollywood stories with some of the more serious, you know, answering questions with the fbi with the sf-86. [ light laughter ] so, it comes out in, i think march of 2019. >> seth: oh, fantastic. >> yeah. >> seth: well congrats on that. >> thanks, man. >> seth: and congrats on everything else. always such a pleasure to see you. >> thank you. likewise. [ cheers and applause ] thanks, seth. >> seth: kal penn, everybody. "designated survivor" returns wednesday night on abc. we'll be right back with music from kelly clarkson. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ when you're lost in the moment you can't see where you're going ♪ ♪ i didn't know who i could trust so i put all my faith in us oh, you tore me to pieces ♪ ♪ turned my strength into weakness i didn't want it all to fall apart so i decided ♪ ♪ just to play the part but honestly i'd do it all again putting up with ♪ ♪ all your bull he made me strong enough to do this it used to bother me thought i could ♪ ♪ never leave after all that i've been
through, nothing left to prove ♪ ♪ no, no, no i don't think about you weighing down on me ♪ ♪ i lost my sanity and now that we are through nothing left to lose no, no, no ♪ ♪ i don't think about you i feel freedom where i stand now ♪ ♪ and i feel proud of who i am now yeah i learned a lot along the way ♪ ♪ i love the woman that i became i was patient but not anymore respect back in my hands ♪ ♪ and you swore i'd never do it but it's your turn to face the music ♪ ♪ it used to bother me thought i could never leave
after all that i've been through nothing left ♪ ♪ to lose no, no, no i don't think about you weighing down on me ♪ ♪ i lost my sanity and now that we are through nothing left to prove no, no, no ♪ ♪ i don't think about you it was hard to hold on days and nights i thought i'd never make it all ♪ ♪ couldn't make it at all now i stand strong feeling like myself again no worries at all ♪ ♪ breathe no one can stop me from living this moment for me ♪ ♪ i found my heart after all that i've been through no, i don't think about you ♪
♪ it used to bother me thought i could never leave after all that i've been through ♪ ♪ nothing left to prove no, no, no i don't think about you weighing down on me ♪ ♪ i found my sanity i found my sanity now that we are through nothing left to lose ♪ ♪ no, no, no i don't think about you i don't think about you no, no, no ♪ ♪ not anymore no, no, no i don't think about you [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: kelly clarkson, everyone! the album "meaning of life" is out now. head over to latenightseth.com