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tv   Late Night With Jimmy Fallon  NBC  July 22, 2011 12:35am-1:35am EDT

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[ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac --
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh man, electric. electric. you guys are great. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody! nice to see you. [ cheers and applause ] man, oh, man, this -- this heat wave -- this heat wave is brutal, huh? yeah, it's rough. in fact, the national weather service is now urging people to avoid all strenuous activity. or as they told the kardashians, keep doing what you're doing. [ laughter ] weather experts say that one million square miles of the u.s. are under a heat dome. but don't worry, we have plenty of shade under our $14 trillion debt ceiling. [ laughter ] so, must be pretty nice -- [ cheers and applause ] -- in the shade. did you guys hear about this? sarah palin's son, track is expecting a baby.
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the palin's plan to name their kid the way they always do, by throwing darts at the dictionary. [ laughter ] corduroy. yeah. [ laughter ] the baby's name is corduroy. i just saw this. house speaker john boehner invited new congressmen over for pizza last night. unfortunately, the delivery guy left when they spent 10 hours fighting over a plan to pay for it. [ laughter ] check this out. in a recent interview, 85-year-old hugh hefner said he dodged a bullet by not marrying his ex-fiancé, crystal harris. not only that, he said he dodged another bullet by giving abe lincoln his theater seats. [ laughter and applause ] you take them. you take them abe. because he's old. some tv news. "american idol" creator, simon fuller is suing fox for not paying him for "the x factor." yeah, when the judge asked if the jury had reached a verdict, they were like, "we have your honor, and we'll tell you right after the break." [ laughter ]
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this isn't good. a new study found that only 20% of high school seniors are proficient in geography. yeah, students weren't really bothered by that number because only 3% of them are proficient in math. [ laughter and applause ] it didn't bother them at all. [ cheers and applause ] whatever that means. hey, i just heard about a new company that offers speed dating for senior citizens. [ laughter ] they say it's great for people who don't have a lot of time to date or a lot of time period. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, police in maryland are looking for a guy who tried to steal a car but ran away because he didn't know how to drive a stick shift. [ laughter ] on the bright side, when he goes to prison, he'll get plenty of lessons how to handle a stick. [ audience groans ] ladies and gentleman we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, we're got a big, big show tonight. oh my god, a lot of stars. she's one of our favorites. she's currently playing morticia addams in the sold-out broadway musical, "the addams family." brooke shields is here! [ cheers and applause ] one of the funniest guys around, one of our favorites, mike birbiglia is dropping by. [ cheers and applause ] he's always great. plus, we have a real life insane person with some real life animals. jeff musial is here. [ cheers and applause ] him and his animals. we love him. we love him too. and check this out you guys, ziggy marley is back performing for us. [ cheers and applause ] that's a lot of show. that's a lot of show. before the show, i was playing around on my iphone. does anyone here have an iphone? [ cheers ] i love it.
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my favorite thing about the iphone is all the apps. you know, they're these little programs you can put right on your phone. some are games, some and help you find like the nearest restaurant. well, here at "late night," we got a sneak peek at some of the new apps that have yet to be released. you guys want to see them? [ cheers ] a few are just upgrades on existing apps. like this one here. this is -- you know -- you ever heard of "i am t-pain?" you say something into your phone, and it auto-tunes your voice so you sound like t-pain. [ laughter ] this app is similar. this is called "i am donald trump." [ laughter ] you say something into your phone, and this app translates it to show you how donald trump would say it. so, let's try it. this app is great. [ as donald trump ] >> this is a beautiful, beautiful luxurious classy app. [ laughter ] 24 karat gold, with beautiful boobs. [ laughter and applause ] why would he say that? this is a pretty useful app, clearly. let's check out some of the other new apps in the pop-up screen here.
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oh, here you go. [ laughter ] >> steve: yeah, that's a bluetooth antenna, right? >> jimmy: yeah. yeah. it's bluetooth. >> steve: bluetooth. >> jimmy: wireless. >> steve: it blew right through the thing. right through the thing. >> jimmy: right through the thing, yeah. wifi. >> steve: bleep-blurp it. wifi. >> jimmy: we bleep-blurped it over there. >> steve: yeah, look at that. >> jimmy: okay, here's -- check out this next app here. this one is cool. it's called "in 20 years." yeah. what it does is it takes a normal picture of yourself, right? you take a normal picture of yourself, and it shows you what you will look like in 20 years. let me try it out. let me just take a picture of myself here. [ laughter ] >> steve: you don't look so good in 20 years. >> jimmy: no, i didn't -- we didn't do it yet. [ laughter ] i was fat there, wasn't i? let me press in 20 years, see what i look like. [ camera shutter ]
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[ laughter ] oh, man. weird. >> steve: you look frightened. >> jimmy: i look scared, yeah. let me try it on questlove. i'll just hold the phone up and take a picture of you. smile. [ camera shutter ] there you go. [ laughter ] now, let's see what questlove will look like in 20 years. [ camera shutter ] weird. [ laughter ] go back to the home screen. that's weird. i don't know. i don't know. i didn't get it either. >> steve: quick -- >> jimmy: i don't know what happened. this next one is really interesting. it's called axl rose relaxation tapes. finally, you can be lulled to sleep -- [ laughter ] lulled to sleep with soothing sounds of guns n' roses front man, axl rose. now, we've shown you this one before, but they just came out with a bunch of new tracks for it. here's one right here, "babbling brook." let's hear that one. ♪ we're called
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babbling brook babble babble babble and he never shuts up ♪ [ babbling ] ♪ babbling brooks take a nap ♪ >> jimmy: take a nap? >> steve: yeah, take a nap. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: so soothing. [ cheers ] puts you to sleep. so soothing. this next one sounds relaxing. let's try dolphin sounds. ♪ we're called dolphin sound clicky clacky clickity clack we're called dolphin sound ♪ ♪ i think i understand the dolphin he's telling me to take a nap ♪ ♪ take a nap [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, a double one. [ applause ] >> steve: that's relaxing. >> jimmy: this next app is cool, this is called "riser burp." basically you tap your finger on the back of your iphone to burp comedian paul reiser.
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let's try it. [ burp ] [ laughter ] let's try it again. [ burp ] [ laughter ] that's pretty fun. >> steve: yeah. [ burp ] [ burp ] [ burp ] [ burp ] [ burp ] [ burp ] [ explosion ] ♪ [ cheers ] >> jimmy: hey, all right, cool. "reiser burp." look at them go. this next app, i haven't tried it yet, it's just called "ex-girlfriend stalker." [ laughter ] let's try it. oh, it's just facebook. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] this next app is really cool, it's called "off your chest." and what you do is you point this at someone and it tells you something they've been wanting to get off their chest to their significant other. let's try it on a couple in the audience. who's there? who's out there? yeah, these guys over here. let's try it on -- let's try it on her first. okay. now, let's see what she wants to get off her chest to her husband. [ ding ]
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i wish you would do more chores around the house. that's pretty good. let's try that on you now, sir. let's see. get off his chest to his wife? what does he want to get off his chest? [ ding ] i secretly videotape us making love and watched it with our cat. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers ] that's weird. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let's go back to the home screen here. >> steve: please. >> jimmy: this last app is one of my favorites. it's just called "ew." "ew." "ew." it's an app that was actually designed by this girl sara, spelled with no "h" who is grossed out by everything. all you do is say anything into your phone, and sara will respond with an "ew." let's try it. open toed sandals. >> "ew." >> jimmy: iceberg lettuce. >> "ew."
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>> jimmy: babies. >> "ew." >> jimmy: the name sarah spelled with an "h" at the end. >> "ew." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: paul reiser. >> whoa! cool. [ explosion ] ♪ hey, reiser, "ew." there you go. [ cheers ] those are all the new iphone apps. we'll be right back with animal expert jeff musial, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ child's voice ] ooh, that looks good.
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[ child's voice ] can i have some? [ child's voice ] you guys should rock, paper, scissors for it. one-two-three-shoot. one-two-three-shoot. i win! oh, man. [ muffled ] congratulations. [ male announcer ] get your own subway® bbq pulled pork sub. slow-cooked pork with bold barbecue sauce. before you say anything, it was 1995. [ kenny ] it was '93. kenny, 1995 was the year the song came out. it was '93. that was your 5th year of high school. it was 1995. ha! 10 bucks says it's '93. yeah, well that's 10 bucks you're gonna have to put in my pocket. whatever. "whoomp! there it is" was '93. it was clearly nineteen ninety... kenny, the restaurant's on fire. i'll call you back. wait, wait... [ male announcer ] only at&t's network lets your iphone talk and surf at the same time. [ bell dings ]
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lets your iphone talk and surf at the same time. crunchy, roasted peanuts. meet soft, chewy caramel. for the energy to keep you going. who wouldn't want to be a part of that? payday. the sweet taste of energy. i mean, just, you know, the whole heist thing. all right, let's do this. all right? before my wife changes her mind. go. [ male announcer ] movies right when you want them. watch unlimited tv episodes and movies instantly, all for only 8 bucks a month from netflix. ♪ ♪ [ female announcer ] with the goodness of fresh-picked tea leaves, water, and sunshine. new 100% natural lipton iced tea. you are what you tea. lipton: drink positive.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is an animal expert and a crazy person who has been kind enough to stop by with some of his friends. we love it when he comes on the show. please welcome jeff musial, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> roots crew! my boys. >> jimmy: they're not your boys. >> they are my boys. >> jimmy: what are you talking about? >> they love me and i love them. >> jimmy: all right, what did
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you bring on? >> first off, i want to say congratulations -- >> jimmy: thank you. >> -- on the emmy nod. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're a good man. ♪kn >> that's incredible. >> jimmy: you're a good man. we owe a lot to you. you're always a great guest. >> no, it is awesome. i'm so proud of you guys. it's great. and that rap thing you guys did the other night, too. >> jimmy: yeah? >> off the chain -- awesome. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're being very nice. >> it's awesome. >> jimmy: you're being very nice. >> this is bella. [ audience aws ] yeah. i her -- i put a thing out on -- on my twitter page. jeffanimalguy. >> jimmy: jeffanimalguy is your twitter? >> yes. and i said i want to name of animals to name the monkey. and everyone's like "oh, bella," this, that. and i like it. i like bella, but i might go further and explore, i might go sophie. she doesn't really know her name fully yet, so we might change it up. but, she is -- she's so cool. she will probably come to you. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: oh wow. man, she is so soft. >> yeah. she's -- >> jimmy: she's wearing diapers. >> yeah. [ laughter ] they're actually pampers preemies. and i know the burning question, where do you get diapers for monkeys?
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wal-mart, duh. [ laughter ] now, but -- >> jimmy: but, where do you get diapers that holds her tail? >> it's -- they're custom -- yeah. now that i'm the jimmy fallon show, i can afford custom diapers for my monkey. [ laughter ] you know? >> jimmy: that's what everyone says. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's what i'm saying. >> jimmy: that's what everyone says. >> but, they have four fingers on the front so they can use them to swing through the trees. they don't have a thumb, so she'll kind of hang on like this. here, bella. show them how you hang. like this. >> jimmy: wow. >> right? [ audience aws ] and she's got a tail 2.5 times stronger than her body. she's just kind of, whoop. have to hang on. she's -- everyone's been loving on her today. so, she's -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i mean, come on. >> highly stressed. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: she is just cuter than -- i mean, can you have a spider monkey as a pet? >> you can not. and see, what a lot of people do, is they see them and they go, "i want him, i want him." see, then most people work a 9:00 to 5:00. they come home, "i'm going to play with the monkey." so, they open the cage. they go to get him out, and that monkey's been locked in the cage all day. so, the monkey is like i'm going to play with you for a little bit. [ laughter ] you know? so, they just make bad pets. >> jimmy: yeah, they're not very good. yeah, yeah. >> but, she's very, very cute. golden belly there.
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>> jimmy: how old is she? >> she is six months old. isn't she just beautiful? >> jimmy: she's just -- and so soft. >> yeah, she's just -- and the water repellent like fur. it's just so neat. i just love it. want to move on to another animal? >> jimmy: sure. yeah. >> okay. i know, she's so cute. i could talk about her the whole time. >> jimmy: i know, yeah. it's great. >> let's go to andy. look, there's andy. >> jimmy: yeah, there's andy. he's an animal, too. >> there we go. he is. [ laughter ] >> easy, that's my blood. >> jimmy: i know. that's your --. >> i took karate for 12 years. >> jimmy: did you really? >> i've got a white belt. don't mess with me. [ laughter ] here we go. no. white belt's the first belt versus the best belt, why go any further? duh. [ laughter ] now -- >> jimmy: duh, is that your new catch phrase? >> it is. hold this guy. i mean, you've got to feel it. >> jimmy: i don't really want to. >> you've got to feel it. it's like leather. something you'd find. like, an old boot in your dad's garage or something? >> jimmy: an old boot in your dad's garage? >> yeah, it's an egyptian uromastyx. that big spiked tail. >> jimmy: oh my god. that's scary. >> it's incredible. now, he looks like he'd just like turn and rip your face off, right? [ laughter ] no, he won't do that. but, just feel him. it's like really leathery. they'll inflate themselves with air, and wedge themselves in the rocks of egypt, where they're
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found. they have two rabid teeth up front and two on the bottom. the armed forces -- the guys in iraq, you know? they're fighting there, and these guys run around. and they're worried about them 'cause when they bite down on you, they lock like a pitbull. and then they have to -- they have to bite all the way here. >> jimmy: why is he here? why would you bring this on my show? >> all the way through and finish the bite and then release. i've heard from different armed forces guys, you don't mess with them in the wild, they're bad news. but, they're herbivores, and they just kind of hang out. super, super neat animal. called the egyptian uromastyx. he kind of looks like a muppet, doesn't he? [ laughter ] he's got like a face, like, kind of like an old man? [ laughter ] right? >> jimmy: yeah, he does a little bit. yeah. [ hums the muppet show theme ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's great man. >> that's cool. >> jimmy: i like him. he is cool. >> i've got another animal i've got to show you. this one is so neat. i want to put this one back here quick. make sure he doesn't get out. >> jimmy: yeah, put the lid on there. >> this is one is -- oh, god he's so cool. this -- you don't ever get to see these. this is called an asian palm civet. and they're like -- they look like a cat crossed with a raccoon, crossed with a --
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possum. it's so neat. these are the animals that cause sars and all the deaths in southeast asia. [ laughter ] and toronto. and they -- what? i'm not kidding. i'm not kidding. >> jimmy: what? >> you'll be all right. now, the -- not from touching them, but they eat them there. and they eat them raw, and that's how the whole thing started off. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah, they're super, super cool animals. and you might -- have you ever seen the movie, "the bucket list?" >> jimmy: yeah. >> they talk about civet coffee. sells for about $150 a pound. it's made by these guys. what they do is they eat all the coffee beans. it goes through them, in door one. comes out door number two. >> jimmy: door number two. >> they don't eat the civet, they eat the coffee beans that went outdoor number two. they collect them in the rainforest. they roast the beans and it sells for about $150 a pound. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, it's supposed to like give you energy and all this stuff, and keep you like energized. i don't understand that at all. >> jimmy: i do, it's coffee. >> yeah, but i mean like coffee
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that came out of another animal's back end, right? [ laughter ] it's just disgusting all the way around. >> but you can pet him again. >> jimmy: ew. >> that's disgusting. >> jimmy: ew. [ scattered applause ] >> he's super neat. >> jimmy: that's a really cool animal. oh my gosh, it's just fascinating. >> it's wild. i'm going to move on. i've got another animal. you want to see it? >> jimmy: yeah, of course. >> this is great. >> jimmy: thanks buddy. >> no problem. thank you, brian. flying brian. that's my man. we call him flying because we went to this concert once. >> jimmy: i really don't -- i don't care. >> okay. [ laughter ] they -- they -- >> jimmy: oh my god! >> look at these things. >> jimmy: whoa! >> this is awesome. now, the coolest thing about them is, you ever see like, "star wars," right? when they're in the bar. and those things are sitting at the bar, right? and they're like -- ♪ ta-da ta-da ta-da >> jimmy: oh my god. >> and then boba fat comes in and just smokes everybody. >> jimmy: boba fat? >> boba fett. now -- >> jimmy: boba fett? >> that's what i said. now -- >> jimmy: boba fat, you said. >> this guy -- now, these things here, see those? those giant -- like they look
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like chicken nuggets that someone sewed on their shoulder? >> jimmy: yeah. >> those are toxic glands. and the cool thing about them, is -- right, if you touch those, you could like -- and touch your eyes, you'll go blind. if you touch them -- if you touch them and you touch your mouth, you'll like, lose your taste buds, your teeth will fall out. if you bite him -- >> jimmy: why again is he here? >> if you bite them, you can die. the tox -- toxicity. thank you. thank you. -- in them can kill these guys. so, you don't want to bite them. it looks like the shoulder pads like your mom used to wear in her shirt in 1986, right? [ light laughter ] now, some moms probably still wear shoulder pad, but they probably have a fanny-pack to match. now -- [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: that's true too. they are giant toads, they're frighteningly huge. >> they're fun. they're taking over florida, and taking over australia. they're just unbelievable creatures. but, i got two more that i've really got to bring out. >> jimmy: okay, good. yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: these are cool.
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>> you've got to see these guys, they are just so neat. and -- >> jimmy: andy, oh my god. >> hand that one to jimmy. [ goat bahs ] [ laughter ] >> aren't they cool? >> jimmy: oh, my god, what are these, little goats? >> yeah. they came from harvey hamspringer's farm. >> who? >> harvey hamspringer. >> jimmy: who is that? >> my friend, he's got a farm. [ laughter ] this guy here, it's actually a woman. her name's linda. but anyway, you got to hold them. you got to hold them. >> jimmy: i'm just trying to be your friend. >> put your hands under her chest like this. >> jimmy: all right. >> now pull her close to you. >> jimmy: okay. >> her name's munchkin. >> jimmy: okay, aw yeah. >> and this one's name is mohawk, and they're called boer goats from south africa. and they're so cute, aren't they? look, she likes you. she thinks you're her mom. call her back. call her back. she'll call back to you. call, go bah. >> jimmy: bah. [ laughter ] >> do it. do it again. do it again! [ audience aws ]
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that's like your "tiger beat" "tiger beat" fold-out poster. >> jimmy: there you go. owen, owen, owen. owen speaks goat. owen, from the roots. owen, can you talk to the goat? [ bahs ] [ goat bahs ] [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: he's talking to the goat. it's so cool. the goat whisperer. >> yeah, they are just a lot of fun. >> jimmy: you are amazing. you are the greatest. thank you again for coming back to the show. >> no problem. thanks for having me, dude. you're so much fun. >> jimmy: i appreciate it. jeff musial and his animals, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] you were great. we'll be right back with brooke shields, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ gertrude ] you do look good. [ maude ] well...if you insist. [ norma ] how can i say "no" to you? [ betsy ] you know my weakness.
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[ gertrude ] real good. [ norma ] you're so sweet. [ maude ] you're so salty. [ betsy ] irresistible. [ female announcer ] giving in to snacks? there's a better way to satisfy your cravings, twice a day with special k. enjoy something sweet... and something salty and still stay on track. ♪ so go ahead and embrace snacking with special k. good choice.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. jeff musial is still here. >> jeff: i'm here. >> jimmy: yep.
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>> jeff: you feel safe? >> jimmy: nope. our next guest this evening has starred on the big and small screen and is continuing her acclaimed run doing broadway musical theater in the hugely popular show, "the addams family." look at it right here. playbill right there. [ cheers and applause ] please welcome once again the talented, the gorgeous brooke shields, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jeff: brooke, you look gorgeous. >> thank you. thank you. >> jimmy: jeff is out here. jeff, he wanted to hang out. he wanted to meet you. >> jeff: i did. >> i got to meet him backstage with little bella -- for a little while. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. see -- >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: -- you get the girls with that spider monkey. >> jeff: i don't need puppies or kittens. >> jimmy: no. >> spider monkeys. >> jeff: spider monkeys. >> jimmy: do you have any more -- >> chick magnet. >> jimmy: do you have any more? >> jeff: i do, actually. >> jimmy: could you -- ? do you want bring some --
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>> jeff: i saved some little -- little chicks. [ audience aws ] >> these are turkey chicks? >> jeff: you're right. she's like -- she should have been a zookeeper. you're really good. >> i worked at the san diego zoo when i was graduating from high school. >> jimmy: did you really? >> and was in the -- >> jeff: want to hold it? >> sure. -- was both in the bird sanctuary as well as the -- yeah, with the primates and the -- and they're just -- hi. >> jimmy: really? and what -- these are? >> these are turkey chicks. >> jimmy: oh my god. >> yeah. or it could be a new band. the turkey chicks. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the turkey chicks, yeah. >> they have a new album. the turkey chicks. >> jimmy: i like the turkey chicks. yeah, i'm going to go see the turkey chicks. >> hi, oh. >> jimmy: how old are these guys? >> see the eyes? the eyes start to go like, aw. >> jeff: just a couple weeks old. >> oh. >> jeff: like turkey, turkey. >> jimmy: brooke is putting hers to sleep. [ laughter ] >> just like i do with the audiences every night. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, no. that's not true. that is not true. >> they actually get really comforted by it. like that -- that sort of warmth, and sort of being -- i'm not actually squeezing it to death. >> jimmy: i was going to say, are to strangling it? >> i'm not killing it. i'm not killing it. >> jimmy: you're killing the turkey chick. [ talking over each other ]
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>> oh, i know. i know. >> jimmy: oh, and can you talk turkey chick, or no? [ turkey chirping ] that's pretty good, huh? [ laughter ] he's very talented. [ applause ] he's a very talented human being. did you ever hear owen do the air horn? owen do the air horn, could you please? [ air horn noise ] thank you. thank you. [ air horn noise ] all right. thank you very much. hey, congrats on "the addams family," this thing is a monster hit. >> thank you. >> jimmy: super smash. [ cheers and applause ] you're killing it. you're a musical theater superstar. >> i'm hardly but it is -- >> jimmy: you are. >> it is so much -- >> jimmy: i mean you're killing it on broadway. it's great. >> it's -- the audiences are loving it. i think there's such an identification, when one person here saw it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> thank you. you know, either you're a fan of the original show from way back in the '50s, or you're a fan of the movies, or you're seeing it for the first time with your kids. and it's, i mean the references are so -- we changed them. but, people have such an
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identification of them as a family. i mean they're morbid and they're dark, but they say things that you want to say, but you probably can't get away with it. but the underlying feeling in this family is that it's like a loving family. and morticia is just like a really cool mom. as odd as that is, she is a really cool mom. >> jimmy: do your kids like you? >> they love it. >> jimmy: have your kids seen it? >> well, they adore it. and they informed me this morning, um, you know we're going to have to go tell everybody that there are actually four children in the addams family because morticia is our mom. and so, they sort of think she is a cool mom and want to identify with her. and then they'll ask me -- either they give me notes on my performance or jackie hoffman, who's the -- -- who plays the grandma, she mixes it up every night and she does something different every night. and i mean, it is in all my power to not crack up. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> i mean the whole cast has to. i mean, i bite the inside of my cheeks because she is so, so funny. >> jimmy: she just kills you. >> and she kills it. and the kids all go home and i'll wake them up and they'll say, so mom, what did the grandma do, what did she say
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tonight? you know? and always -- it's nice when your kids actually like, and can see what you do. >> jimmy: were you a fan of "addams family" growing up? >> i was. >> jimmy: me too. >> i saw it with my mom. i mean, my mom and i would watch it. you know? >> jimmy: it was like that and like "the munsters." >> yep. got a little -- >> jimmy: around the same time, that's weird, right? >> i sort of feel like they're cousins or something like that. >> jimmy: i guess. >> people do -- >> jimmy: have they ever met each other? "the munsters" and "the addams family?" >> i don't know. but, that could be a good spin-off. we could have -- >> jimmy: that'd be something. yeah, yeah. >> it would be. but it's fun, and they've got -- i mean, the audiences, they go crazy. and the minute you hear the music -- [ addams family theme ] ♪ -- people do the clap, clap. there we go. >> jimmy: you just can't. >> nothing, yeah, nothing. >> jimmy: you just have to do it. >> you just have to do it. >> jimmy: like -- [ addams family theme ] ♪ [ snap snap ] >> you just have to do it. exactly. >> jimmy: and you have to snap, right. >> and you have to snap. i can't, otherwise i will kill the bird. but -- [ laughter ] but they -- they love it and they see this family. and this sort of archetypal family and it's very dysfunctional. sick family and they're dark, and they're morbid and they -- and yet you feel the love. and it's funny. and the music is great. >> jimmy: it's really funny. the music is good. the music in it too.
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>> and the choreography is amazing. i mean, we do this incredible tango number. and i had to learn the tango. and it's just -- >> jimmy: fun. >> it's a lot. yeah. the music is great. >> jimmy: i love it. >> there's a standing ovation. i mean it's just -- it's so, so funny and the show is really funny. >> jimmy: i'm so psyched. i know you have a show tonight too, so you have to go over it. >> you've got nieces and nephew who i think would like it too. >> jimmy: really? >> like it spans the ages. it's really funny. >> jimmy: jackie -- jackie hoffman -- >> hoffman -- she plays the grandma. >> jimmy: who plays the grandma, she got you -- she got you on the first night. >> yeah, well, i stupidly -- and you know, i know comedians. i live with them -- >> jimmy: you're married -- >> my husband is a writer. >> jimmy: -- chris, yeah. >> i'm married to one and stupidly i let my guard down, and right before the opening -- >> jimmy: the first debut. >> -- the first debut. >> jimmy: you're nervous. >> i'm nervous and i wasn't like on my game, just -- as morticia, yes. as brooke, no. and i turned and i said, just do me a favor and just like, don't throw me under the bus tonight. like, just not tonight. like, give me a break tonight, it was as if i provided the bus. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. yeah, exactly. [ laughter ] >> and i laid down and when -- >> jimmy: it was an open net. yeah, you got to. >> -- open net, and i -- but my vengeance was that i did not crack once.
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so, but she did. she made like a calvin klein reference or something. >> jimmy: what did she do? >> she was like, want to know what comes between me and my calvins? [ laughter ] i was like, not going to get me on that. >> jimmy: she didn't get it. i love it. >> nope. >> jimmy: you guys got to go see brooke shields in "the addams family." [ cheers and applause ] you're the greatest. come back whenever. mike birbiglia joins us next. he's hanging out in the bud light lime greenroom, right there. hey, mike birbiglia. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ we used to bet who could get closest to the edge. took some crazy risks as a kid. but i was still over the edge with my cholesterol. anyone with high cholesterol may be at increased risk of heart attack. diet and exercise weren't enough for me. i stopped kidding myself. i've been eating healthier, exercising more, and now i'm also taking lipitor. if you've been kidding yourself about high cholesterol...stop. 80% of people who have had heart attacks have high cholesterol. lipitor is a cholesterol lowering medication, fda approved to reduce the risk of heart attack and stroke in patients who have heart disease
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a very, very funny comedian, who is the author of the bestselling book, "sleepwalk with me," which is now in paperback. you can also enjoy the cd, "sleepwalk with me live," which debuted at number one on the billboard charts. good for mike. please welcome back to the show our pal, mike birbiglia! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you? >> how about owen with the goat sound? >> jimmy: i know. it's like what? >> it's like did guys notice that? he talked to a goat? >> jimmy: not every show has
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that, you know? humans talking to goats, and goats talking back. >> yeah, like -- i'm worried. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, don't be worried. >> like i'm worried about like if you have a girlfriend or a wife. like there's so many questions she should be asking. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: weird face. dude, you gave a weird face. congrats. how's summer going? >> oh, it's good. you know, i was just visiting my parents for the fourth, which is really fun. you know, just being treated like you're 15 and sleeping on a pullout couch is one of my favorite things to do. and there's a barbecue, which is always great. it's just like such an such an irrational form of eating that you do. like you'd never go to a restaurant and be like "can i have six hamburgers and four hot dogs?" [ laughter ] and uh -- for dinner, i'll have a half a watermelon and just a sheet of brownies. [ laughter ] i'll just grab handfuls of them. >> jimmy: you don't even have to cut them. >> and like, seven ears of corn.
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i'm not going to eat them all. i'm just going to throw half of them at my brother because he's a -- [ laughter ] but, no. it's just a crazy thing. but no, it's fun. i had a, you know, a pretty good summer. >> jimmy: well you have -- this is killing, i mean look at this. "sleepwalk with me" -- >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: -- the book. this is -- congrats on this, man. >> thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it went number one on the billboard charts. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: that's huge. exciting. that's great. i mean, were you always sleepwalking? i mean, was that -- >> i -- you know, i didn't sleepwalk a lot as a kid. it actually kind of came on in adulthood. but, when i was a kid, i actually used to have -- i was talking to jeff about the fact that i used to have, like dreams about wild animals. like, when i was a kid, i used to have this recurring dream that there was a bear walking in the front door of my house. like literally opening the front door, which was actually the scariest part, a bear with opposable thumbs. [ laughter ] you know, 'cause if a bear can open a door -- >> jimmy: yeah, then, yeah. >> the sky's the limit. [ laughter ] i don't have a plan for that one. like, my plan was the door. [ laughter ] but in that dream, i would have this dream, bear walking in the front door, and i'd hide in the kitchen cupboard with my sister, patty. and it's pitch-black, and i'm scared to death.
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and i opened up the door a crack to let in some light. i look, i look out, and i look next to me, and my sister patty is gone, and she's been replaced by the bear. and -- [ laughter ] -- yeah, i know. and he doesn't kill me, but gives me kind of a coy jack nicholsoney look like -- "will i kill you?" you know, and that's -- [ laughter ] -- and that's when i wake up. i had that dream for years, you know? >> jimmy: frightening. >> i did. and like, and then i attempted to kind of face this life long fear of bears. like, a few years ago, my sister patty and i went to alaska. we actually went to this place called katmai national park, where there are so many bears that when you arrive, they take you to what's called bear orientation. and what they teach you -- and this is a real thing. like, if you ever see a bear, it seems counterintuitive, but you're actually supposed to clap and make the bear aware of your presence. like, "i'm right here, bear! [ laughter ] i'm right here! i'm mike and you're a bear." when they told me this, i was like, "oh, i'm going to be murdered by a bear." [ laughter ] 'cause that seems like painting -- you're like basting yourself in barbecue sauce. [ laughter ] you know, it's just like "i'm right here, bear, i'm right here, and i taste fantastic.
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i've applied condiments, so that will --" but, we actually went fly fishing. have you tried fly fishing before? >> jimmy: i went once with a -- yeah, and it was awesome. >> yeah, it's difficult, though. >> jimmy: not easy, no. >> yeah, it's like much more difficult than it looks, yeah, in "a river runs through it." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they make it look easy, though, yeah. >> well, yeah, cause you're in like the rubber pants, you know? did you wear like the waders, you know? >> jimmy: yes. and there's rubber pants. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> that's what i call them when i wear them privately. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: rubber pants. >> well they are, yeah. i have a big wader's collection in my closet. but, uh -- >> jimmy: that's for your normal pant of choice? >> yeah, it's one of them. uh, when i do my goat noises, i like to -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: like to wear rubber pants. >> -- rubber pants, of course. no, i'm in the rubber pants, we're waist-deep in water, and there's salmon actually jumping out of the water. like, literally jumping -- which is what i would do if i were a fish. like that seems like a great field trip, you know, like you're in the boring water all day. and then you're just like "whoa. [ laughter ] like, i want to stay here and
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grow legs, and become a human," which is what happened over time. sorry, homeschoolers. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't think that's correct, but -- [ laughter and applause ] >> you sure? >> jimmy: you're going to throw in a disclaimer? >> but, the salmon jumping out of the water -- >> jimmy: disclaimer -- humans did not come from fish. [ laughter ] >> the salmon are jumping out of the water -- >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> -- and i can't catch one. and we're with a fishing guide and he feels bad for me. so, he catches one himself, places the rod in my hands and goes "you got one!" [ laughter ] and that really hurt, you know? cause like -- >> jimmy: that's condescending. >> -- i knew that i hadn't, you know? it's like, you know -- and so, i'm in with the guide and my sister, patty, is about 75 yards behind me, and i hear her say, "mike?" and it was the voice of someone who is about to be mauled. [ laughter ] it had a very distinct pitch. you know, it was like, "mike." like, if it was like, "miiiike!" like, i would be like, she's dead. [ laughter ] you know, but it was just
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like -- it was just like "miike?" and i turn around and there's an eight foot brown bear walking towards her in the water. yeah, i know, that's crazy. >> jimmy: oh my gosh. >> it was very surreal. you know, cause he wasn't running, you know what i mean? like he wasn't like -- he wasn't just that cartoon, like, he wasn't like -- [ imitates roaring ] -- i will roar, you know? it was kind even kind of docile, "i'm a bear, et cetera," you know? [ laughter ] and here it was, my greatest fear in my entire life and i built up the courage to say, "guide, do something!" [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: good for you. >> but you know what happened, is the guide just snapped into action. he sprinted over, and i swear to god, he sprinted over at the bear and he clapped. you know, he was like -- he was like -- [ imitates scream ] [ laughter ] and the bear walked away. he was just like "all right, i'm a bear, et cetera." [ laughter ] and i was very relieved that my sister didn't get mauled. but in retrospect, i was a
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little angry at the guide. i was like, "you know, you didn't tell me about the -- [ imitates scream ] -- plan. you just told me go 'i'm right here, bear. [ laughter ] i'm right here. i'm mike, and you're a bear." it's like he gave me the bad parachute. [ laughter ] you know, like everybody's chute goes off, and then i have like the multi-colored gym class parachute. [ laughter and applause ] and i'm like "this doesn't do anything! [ cheers and applause ] except build team skills!" >> jimmy: you guys, "sleepwalk with me" is out now. get it as a book, get it as a cd. get it on itunes. just get it. mike birbiglia, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ziggy marley performs next. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ man ] this is my robot butler. say i'm missing england. i type in e-n-g... and he gives me a variety of options. would you like to have a look at a map, my lad? ah, why not? shall we check on the status of your knighthood? yes. again? yes, again, please! thank you. with my digital manservant, i'll never be homesick again. would you like me to put the kettle on, sir? no, i'd like you to get rid of that ostrich. it's been here a month. [ male announcer ] think, type, go. with just type. only on the new hp touchpad with webos. take toast... spread with i can't believe it's not butter... add jacques. he's french. oui! mmmm...oui like!
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[ male announcer ] now four out of five butter lovers agree that i can't believe it's not butter tastes as good as fresh butter with 70% less saturated fat and 30% fewer calories than butter. now you can have it all. [ male announcer ] i can't believe it's not butter.
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and started earning loads of points. you got a weather balloon with points? yes i did. [ man ] points i could use for just about anything. ♪ ♪ there it is. [ man ] so i used mine to get a whole new perspective. ♪ [ male announcer ] the new citi thankyou premier card gives you more ways to earn points. what's your story? citi can help you write it.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. our next guest is a reggae superstar, who recently released a new album "wild and free." here to perform the song "forward to love." please welcome back to the show, ziggy marley. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ don't go away when you know that it feels good why don't you stay ♪ ♪ cause you know what we could do baby we could get hazy hand in hand we feel the vibe ♪ ♪ we see true love in our eyes baby
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this ain't no maybe ♪ ♪ forward to love forward to love you know we got something the feeling is true ♪ ♪ and i don't wanna wait another day to be with you baby oh we could get lazy oh ♪ ♪ the spirit has spoke the voice of the truth no need to waste time let's just do it baby oh ♪ ♪ we could get crazy oh forward to love forward to love ♪ ♪ hard to believe it shouldn't be this easy you take the lead and i wont be greedy baby oh ♪
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♪ i'm in no hurry oh what are the odds a stranger we meet ♪ ♪ but deep inside we've walked these streets already oh this ain't just lately oh ♪ ♪ forward to love are you going my way forward to love ♪ ♪ ♪ don't go away when you know that it feel good ♪ ♪ why don't you stay cause you know what we could do baby oh we could get hazy oh ♪
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♪ hand in hand we feel the vibe you see true love in my eyes baby oh this ain't no maybe oh ♪ ♪ forward to love everyone now forward to love come on ya'll ♪ ♪ forward to love everybody say forward to love right now ♪ ♪ forward to love forward to love forward to love are you headed my way ♪ ♪ forward to love forward to love come on come on forward to love ♪ ♪ forward to love
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's it. ziggy marley! check out his new album "wild and free." we'll be right back everybody. that was it. that was it. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ >> jimmy: all right. thanks to brooke shields, mike birbiglia, jeff musial, ziggy marley and the greatest band in late night, the roots, right there, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for carson daly. thank you for watching. have a good night. hope to see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪


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