(cheers and applause) jon stewart, everybody. >> jon: hello, everybody. >> stephen: from the jon stewart show. hi, jon. >> jon: i'm sorry to interrupt your performance on the hms pinafore. how are you. >> stephen: i'm doing great. what i can do you for. >> jon: i believe we were in the middle of something, my friend. >> stephen: oh, right, thank you. all right, here we go. >> jon: your move. >> stephen: all right, my move. b-6 yes? yes? >> jon: no, no, no, no my friend it is a miss. >> stephen: damn you! okay g. >> jon: okay, my turn. >> stephen: yeah, any time. >> jon: d-7. [bleep] yes! all right. (laughter) uh-huh uh-huh, yeah, uh-huh. uh-huh your move, captain spalding. >> stephen: i tell you what, jon, i can do this later. i have people over right now. >> jon: all right, run along. i have you in my sight, commodore. >> stephen: man your life boats. i will see you in hell. >> jon: all right, you probably will. say hi to the beatles for me. >> stephen: bye, jon! (cheers and applause) jon stewart. don't worry, we have four more pegs before we sink. of course all this week i will be join

this "the daily show" jon stewart. >> jon: welcome to "the daily show" i'm jon stewart. we've got the author joanna brooks -- that woman knows who it is. the book of mormon girl. i pronounced it wrong it's the book of mormon, girl! >> we want to talk bay comment a lot of people are talking about today. the president critiquing mitt romney's tax plan a new name for him that is a bit of a buzz word. let's listen. >> first of all, thank you for joining us what an italian widow wears to a lobster bake. [ laughter ] i can't believe it not my antonio. he was such a good boy. i'll have it at two pounds broiled not steamed. antonio. if you like that you'll love my new one man show tyler perry prentz jon stewart in women eating shellfish. let's be serious. we'll hear what the president says. >> he asked the middle class to pay more taxes to give another $250,000 tax cut to the people making more than $3 million a year. >> [audience reacts] >> it's like robinhood in reverse. it's romney hood. [ laughter ] >> stephen: -- >> jon: should be easy for romney to top romney hood. >> we'v

he stopped by "the daily show" to show jon stewart some of his souvenirs. >>> elvis presley died today, he was 42, apparently it was a heart attack. the end, at an early age of one of the two most spock tack lar careers in the history of american entertainment. the other being frank sinatra's. ♪ i know what you're thinking. it's a hot white number, but what a hassle to care for! all that pre-treating and chlorine bleach. and don't even think about working up a sweat in the club! ♪ but i'm not worried... i use tide vivid detergent and boost. they keep my whites looking like new, wash after wash. tell me... yes? ...do you sell a matching jegging? that's my tide, and that's how i break the rules of white. deal with it ! >>> it's 5:43 this morning. let's check your weather with nbc meteorologist bill karins who is over there. i feel like bill, the horror films where somebody is brushing their teeth and they look up in the mirror and there's a scary guy standing behind them. that's kind of like what you're doing right now. >> i got some scheme the up my sleeve. good morning, everyone, y

my name is jon stewart. we have a show for you tonight, including a visit from an exciting new, fresh, young, comedian, christopher rock. ( laughter ). i expect big things from him. let's begin tonight with america, folks. these are troubled times. in this majestic land. ( laughter ) but there is one problem in our great country which stands out, perhaps above all others-- voter fraud. how big of a problem? do we know how big a problem it is? >> jon: i'm going to say it's bigger than ringworm. ( laughter ). and less than bieber fever. ( laughter ) actually, i didn't even know we had a voter fraud problem in this country. >> we have a voter fraud problem in this country. ( laughter ) >> jon: i stand crebted. is it proven? >> it's a proven problem, a serious threat to our democracy. ( laughter ) >> jon: well, i hope we have our best people on it. >> now to the fox news voter fraud unit. ( laughter ) ( applause ) ( cheers ) >> jon: yes, conservatives and their media division are up in arms over voter fraud, and

my name is is jon stewart. we have a good one for you tonight. a lot to cover. we're going to get right to it. first of all, the olympics, the games ended yesterday. huge success three ways. one, the games were exciting, emotional, compelling and very well executed by the host city. number two, britain got to do what everyone has wanted to do: drive the spice girls off a cliff thelma and louise style. slow down. she's just a baby. robert pattinson is our guest tonight ( cheers and applause ) obviously a great deal of interest in what he will say about the olympics. i think there might be a lot of people watching this show for the first time. so, let me assure you, mr. pattinson will come out. but you do have about 15 minutes of vice president shall jokes to plow through. we have to catch up on the weekend's political events. this is a comedy show dealing mostly with politics. in politics, there was only one story to cover this weekend. >> breaking news. mitt romney chooses wisconsin congressman paul ryan as his running mate. >> jon: wait. what? that guy next to

my name is jon stewart. this is -- [ applause ] >> jon: not sure what that man said, but i appreciate it. [ laughter ] >> jon: this is the penultimate day of our coverage of the republican national convention here in st. paul, minnesota. the republican national convention in st. paul, minnesota brought to you by mace. [ laughter ] >> jon: mace [ laughter ] >> jon: mace. when someone is standing in front of you and you want them to move. [ laughter ] >> jon: mace. when

stewart, jon stewart did something funny, gave him a tub of ben & jerry's ice cream to drown his sorrows. and said let's have girl tal do we have a sound bite? let's listen. >> we're just a couple of gals talking. >> all right. my biggest problem in my life is i'm cheap, and i didn't hire a publicist. and every interview -- usually everything is scripted. i'm going to hire a publicist. >> he probably should. i wish him all the best. i wish her too. we all make mistakes in this life. at least she owned up to it. i wish the media would stop saying she humiliated him. she's the one -- she humiliated herself and the man with her, humiliated himself, not his wife. they broke their hearts. but that's a different thing. let's say the humiliation is for the person who does the humiliating thing. >> i like that. like that a lot. >> yeah. there's another thing you like a lot. >> what? >> hoda likes peeing in the pool. >> what are you talking about? where does this even come from? >> okay. here's the thing. ryan seacrest made news. he interviewed ryan lochte and he admitted he urinas in the pool du

my name is jon stewart. we have a show for you tonight, including a visit from an exciting new, fresh, young, comedian, christopher rock. ( laughter ). i expect big things from him. let's begin tonight with america, folks. these are troubled times. in this majestic land. ( laughter ) but there is one problem in our great country which stands out, perhaps above all others-- voter fraud. how big of a problem? do we know how big a problem it is? >> jon: i'm going to say it's bigger than ringworm. ( laughter ). and less than bieber fever. ( laughter ) actually, i didn't even know we had a voter fraud problem in this country. >> we have a voter fraud problem in this country. ( laughter ) >> jon: i stand crebted. is it proven? >> it's a proven problem, a serious threat to our democracy. ( laughter ) >> jon: well, i hope we have our best people on it. >> now to the fox news voter fraud unit. ( laughter ) ( applause ) ( cheers ) >> jon: yes, conservatives and their media division are up in arms over voter fraud, and

my name is jon stewart. we have a show for you tonight, including a visit from an exciting new, fresh, young, comedian, christopher rock. ( laughter ). i expect big things from him. let's begin tonight with america, folks. these are troubled times. in this majestic land. ( laughter ) but there is one problem in our great country which stands out, perhaps above all others-- v

my name is jon stewart. our guest tonight fred guterl. he's the author of a new book on whether humans might cause their own exstings. i vote yes. there's been a ton of depressing development in campaign finance at citizens united with the rise of super-pac. i don't think image associated with campaign finance is quite as sad as this one. it's the president of the united states sitting alone with his laptop in a room where perhaps teddy roosevelt sat when designating the national parks or lincoln sat emans paight the slaves or taft sat eating an incredibly large bowl of chili. that is obviously historically inaccurate. we all know taft ate with his hands. he was an animal. no spoon for him what was our president doing alone with his laptop? donating to his own presidential campaign. >> i want to make sure that folks know that i'm not just talking the talk, i'm walking the walk. lawyer, united states of america and my occupation is president. [ laughter ] >> jon: birth place -- [ laughter ] mr. president, don't do it. don't hit the donate

i think jon stewart is brilliant. i think in fact, jacki did you see that one, harry reid's spokespeople said we're going to be scared because jon stewart gets all serious? isn't that true? >> yeah, i don't think that's why there should be any concern. the only thing would be if it comes out there's absolutely no substantiation to this then it does taint his reputation a little bit. but i don't -- in my heart, look, i also didn't think representative weiner was responsible for -- would have been responsible for what he did. it is unfortunate that politicians go out there and do some things we didn't expect was in their character. but at the same time, i truly believe that this is calculated and based on something. and it is not his responsibility to reveal his sources. it is mitt romney's responsibility to prove to us that the voters he's asking to elect as president that he's been paying his taxes. >> stephanie: if someone says this is demonstrably false wouldn't you say okay, then demonstrate it. demonstrate to me i

we'll leave it to jon stewart to strukt his own idea of what makes the republican candidate tick. that clip and a check on weather when "way too early" comes right back. >>> the invasion by 100,000 iraqi troops backed by air cover and tanks was brutally efficient. iraq wants control of the territory and oil and the money that comes with it. iraq insists that it was invited in by a rebel kuwaiti government, but no one believes that. [ man ] you think that jason bourne was the whole story? ♪ who is he? it's aaron cross. he's an outcome agent. we should go. if there is hell, now would be the time to bring it on. ♪ ♪ what are you gonna do? [ cross ] i'm gonna finish what he started. [ male announcer ] "the bourne legacy." rated pg-13. >>> welcome back to "way too early." that is a beautiful shot of the jefferson memorial in your nation's capital of washington, d.c. nearly 220 counties were added to the growing list of natural disaster areas due to drought. according to the u.s. department of agriculture, more than 1,400 counties are now affected by the severe heat, making them e

. >>> back here at home, jon stewart pulls up a ringside seat to watch what he calls a classic old man fight. the political slugfest. >>> and a check on weather when "way too early" comes right back. >>> five, four, we've gone from main engine start. we have main engine start. >> ladies and gentlemen, rock and roll. [ male announcer ] now you can swipe... scroll... tap... pinch... and zoom... in your car. introducing the all-new cadillac xts with cue. ♪ don't worry. we haven't forgotten, you still like things to push. [ engine revs ] the all-new cadillac xts has arrived, and it's bringing the future forward. ♪ >>> welcome back to "way too early." looking at a great shot from top of the rock, looking south towards the empire state building and the new tower going up in the lower end of manhattan. beautiful shot. >>> let's get a check on your weather from nbc meteorologist bill karins. good morning, bill. >> good morning. london looks better than new york city this morning. >> yeah, it does? >> yesterday london had a rainy day. temperature should get up to near 70. right now 67 in lo

is jon stewart right to call on harry reid here or no? >> i like the new harry reid. i like the combative harry reid. i like him quoting bryce harper with that's a clown question, bro. harry reid way out of line and you're wrong. >> cenk: ooh. >> the stuff about mitt romney is not right. michele bachmann talked about the infiltration and the department of state of muslims. it is -- and when romney's spokesman talks quotes, joe mccarthy, it is appropriate. >> cenk: no. you're going to far. >> that's exactly what michele bachmann is doing. >> cenk: wait a minute. in both the mccarthy and the bachmann scenarios they're trying to isolate whether it was communist, muslims et cetera and doing this witch-hunt, et cetera. reid's not doing a witch-hunt. it is a simple political question of did you release your taxes or not? i think that's totally fair game. >> of course you do. i got that. but in this first time in this debate, i feel bad for mitt romney. >> cenk: great, i love that. >> if i feel bad so do other people. >> cenk: look, it is -- we do this show together for five

. >>> some people get all their news from jon stewart. jon stewart hates that he says. we'll show you what else he told charlie rose about the daily show. we'll be right back. >>> two major political party conventions are upon us. in tampa, the live act shut their eyes and nominate romney and democrats get together in charlotte the week after and scheduling surprise guests. democratic convention planners are seeking a guy soldier and a fellow straight soldier who served together in iraq and afghanistan and ideally the straight soldier was helped by the guy soldier. it's complicated. probably easier than their final guest, a cop who rescues a construction worker. with an inyand chief who are friends with a motorcycle guy. >> it all ties together, doesn't it? >> it does. this morning we have jon stewart in a classic charlie rose conversation in 2004. the host of comedy central's daily show spoke with charlie about taking a serious view of politics then making it funny. >> how do you see your role in terms of what the daily show is? is it pure entertainment or is it more?

my name is jon stewart. our guest tonight, oh, this is a treat. olympic gold medalist misty may-treanor here to talk about her recent tabloid breakup with let's say someone from "the hunger games." anyway, there was a great deal of interest online with robert pattinson because of that whole thing and kristen stewart. our ratings in the key demographic that advertisers use to select their kill list... (laughter). i'm sorry "preferred customers." was to use their terminology boffa. it made me realize that i had after seeing the ratings for the past almost 15 years been focused on doing a program about subjects that are... let me just show you the tweets from the first... (laughter). from the first 15 minutes of last night's show. son of a bitch. (laughter)

katie couric but then at the top of the list, jon stewart 44%. >> right. >> john: that is online poll. but a rasmussen real poll said nearly a third of americans under the age of 40 primary sawyers of news are daily or steven col better. >> majority of them don't have an understanding of how the world works. what i find comical about the daily show, it's daring in the same way that college students are daring. he gets a nose ring. that is a risk. daily show making fun of republicans they aren't speaking the truth to power. they are making out of it. they are constantly defending those in power. how is that rebellion. college students sees the rebellion because it mirrors the assumptions. academic professor's assumptions. i grew up around this. i went to berkeley then i worked in publishing. everybody thinks like john stewart in the media. >> john: everybody is conventional liberal. >> i say that his audience is a mirror that claps. >> john: and media get it wrong. what do you think the media get wrong? >> a lot of things. the thing that drives me nuts is selective outrage. somebody ca

stewart

my name jon stewart. our guest tonight dambisa moyo. she's an economist promoting her new book winner talk all. it's about -- winner take all. it's about how china will be the overlords be about about a nef y so. we just gassed up for the trip to london or as they call gas in london floggy queaffers. true. you can imagine how excited the romney campaign must be to escape from our greatest alley and -- ally and head to poleland to reset romney's -- poland to reset romney's -- >> the trying press secretary for romney lost his cool and cursed at reporters near the tomb of the unknown soldier in warsaw. [ laughter ] >> jon: so how did the press secretary end up cursing at reporters near the tomb? [ laughter ] what set him off? >> governor romney, do you have a statement for the palestinians? >> what about your gas? [ laughter ] >> jon: what about your gas? sir, they are called floggy-queafers? do you have any new gas in the works? why can kristen stewart cheat on r-pat? answer the -- wow. so apparently they were -- the frustrating reports w

he shared points of ice cream on "the daily show" with jon stewart and they joked that they were a couple of gals talking about a breakup and he was better off without former flame kristin stewart. he never commented on her saying only right now he needs a good publicist. >>> well, returning to acting in the expensables two after an eight-year break arnold schwarzenegger admits it's tough staying in shape at 65 but admits the same food and exercise he relied on 50 years ago still works. that's a little modern med sin. >>> and meanwhile 20 years later jean-claude van dam said he had an affair while shooting the movie street fighter in thailand. why dig that up now? >>> and finally miley cyrus -- whoa -- has yet another new look thanks to the style list who gave us jennifer aniston's rachel hair cut. super short, tweeting, never felt more me in my whole life. i'm a little speechless. >> i'm not but i'll just zip my mouth. >> good. very smart. this comes to us from kpns in arizona where it was "i do" times five. two brothers -- three sisters and two brothers had plans to marry their sweethea

thank you very much, my name is jon stewart. our guest tonight, brian williams host of a popular new satire program on the nbc

jon stewart did not mention her name at all. but here is a little snippet of exactly what took place. >> well, i am now going to sound like an idiot. >> not at all. >> my biggest problem in my life is i'm cheap. and i didn't hire a publicist. >> i think you should. i think you should. although, unless you have a time machine -- >> clearly trying to cheer him up. you did see they had ben & jerry's ice cream. didn't bring up kristen's name, he was clear ly trying to console him. like he was going through a tough emotional time. at one point, an audience member said that stewart did did attempt to bring up public breakups. saying folks are acting like they're the end of the world pattinson's reply, said it is the end of the world. >> he's playing this one just right. being classy. but he's getting a lot of sympathy. >> i think he is truly heartbroken. heartbroken. he was smitten with her. might still be. >>> we've got sort of a parallel here. going to talk about anderson cooper, a "world news now" alum, he might have questions to a