Would you just love to go for a walk with Laurie and talk about sex? Well, on this episode, L invites all of her girlfriends out there to talk about all the stuff - hacks to conquer menopause, how to use a vibrator and what to do if his erection fails. Join in for some girl talk!
Topics: Podcast, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples, couplestherapy, eft,...
The million dollar question! (for pursuers) how do you get someone to pursue their own pleasure. In our Q&A, Laurie and George see a reader's point. For so many reasons it works better when your partner is engaged sexually - they supply desire that fuels the sexual fun, it's a turn-on to see your partner in uninhibited abandon plus it takes the pressure off from always having to initiate. But there's a flip side that is often dynamic.
Topics: Podcast, Therapy, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples, couplestherapy, eft,...
Lovemaking, maintenance sex, icebreaker sex, the 5-minute window, RED HOT sex, and scheduled sex - all have their merits. Compliments of our friends' blog @thehappymarriageau, George and Laurie riff on these six modes of sex - what they're good for, what the drawbacks are and how connected relationships might make use of all of them. Please follow @thehappymarriageau and us as well on insta @Foreplay_radiosextherapy. And find some fantastic lube at Uberlube.com with 10% off using our coupon...
Topics: Podcast, Therapy, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples, couplestherapy, eft,...
Keeping connected is easier when we're in green brain - when our brain says we are safe, cared about and even loved - when we can relax, talk, listen with openness. Red brains are escalated, tense, maybe angry or in total shut down. Listen to George and Laurie talk about pulling a partner in red brain into the calm connected place where sex and connection can happen.
Topics: Podcast, Sex, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples, couplestherapy, eft,...
FOREPLAY welcomes Emotionally Focused Therapy, founder Dr. Sue Johnson to talk with us about George's driving and the sexual cycle. We laughed together about their early relationship and more seriously about George asking for help after 9/11 with the couples he was seeing and Sue's generous response. Sue gives us a keen example of a uber sexual pursuer and how his needs for attachment drive him even thought his behavior pushes his partner away. Listen up to our discussing with someone who has...
Topics: Podcast, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples, couplestherapy, eft,...
Listen to this emotional episode to to help the withdrawers in your life. Trained to suppress emotions, withdrawers have decided early in life - it's is not okay to have needs. Their nervous systems don't trust because in the past people haven't shown up for them. Even if their pursuing partner are longing to be close and cover them with their love, their hearts believe others are not safe or dependable. George and Laurie think about the actual words that withdrawers might say when they finally...
Topics: Podcast, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples, couplestherapy, eft,...
Withdrawers in relationship are steeled against the three waves that come for them... first, they do it wrong for their pursuing partner, next it's their fault for withdrawing and third, they really are nothing after all. Can you see why it makes sense not to engage? If all you get when you engage with your partner is ultimately the knowledge about being not good enough, maybe unloveable - it's soo much better to stay distant. Laurie and George talk about the different strategies that...
Topics: Podcast, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples, couplestherapy, eft,...
We want to help pursuers get what they need and then take it into their hearts when it finally comes their way. We know there can be mistrust when a withdrawer at first tries to understand and meet the pursuer's need. Your longing for attention, engagement or sex has left you in fear of always feeling this way. It makes sense that when your withdrawer starts to come forward that you would have serious doubt about their intentions and authenticity. But Laurie and George want to set up both...
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples, couplestherapy,...
This is George and Laurie's love letter to those pursuers out there! We see how hard you work. Male or female, sexual or emotional pursuer. We see your good intentions. We see your longing for your partner. We know you are working hard at doing it right and often are only criticized when you blow it. But we are sending love and encouragement. Hang in there.
Topics: Podcast, EFT, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples, couplestherapy,...
George says the value of my hour is equal to the value of your hour! Laurie says if there are big inequities in responsibility between couples - there's gonna be big problems in the bedroom! Hear G and Laurie exclaim over how important it is to get FAIRPLAY before FOREPLAY is possible. We know so many couples fight about this and we know it's so important to straighten this out in order to keep the bedroom hot!
Topics: Podcast, EFT, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples, couplestherapy,...
We promise fidelity in marriage - a promise of an erotic life with our partner. So what gets in the way? Why do people joke that marriage is where sex goes to die? George and Laurie believe facing the discouragement that couples might feel, is better than settling for low engagement. They explore how men and women may stabilize each other and destabilize each other at different points - in the emotional and sexual cycles. It's complicated and George and Laurie dig in! #couplescounseling...
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Relationships, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples, couplestherapy,...
Our Q&A - What happens when you can't orgasm during intercourse like you used to? George and Laurie come up with many different ideas about what might be happening and techniques to help our listener. A listener doesn't think Laurie gets hookup culture and why orgasm isn't always the focus. Here's to a deeper look at what people might be looking for. Heartbroken over her partner's rejection due to herpes, we help a listener come to terms with what she needs to do. Please support us at the...
Topics: Podcast, EFT, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples, couplestherapy,...
We all have scripts that have been handed down. Our families have told us how we are to behave sexually. Gender roles proscribe the way we should act in the bedroom. Our culture tells us what makes us valuable in sex. Let's examine these scripts instead of just unconsciously following them. Free yourself from scripts that might have outlived their purpose! Welcome special guest - Dr. James Hawkins from the postcast: The Leading Edge! Please check out Uberlube.com/Foreplay for the slickest,...
Topics: Podcast, EFT, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples, couplestherapy,...
Are you tired of having the same fight over and over? Would you like to discuss things without triggering your partner. Can you imagine that underneath your partner's defense lies a hurt and even below that a need? George tries to help make it simple, in a nutshell there are three parts to how we react in a conflict - our protection, our hurt, and our need Together Laurie and George make sense of defensiveness and role play a different way to reach each other. Please find the best lubricant on...
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Therapy, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples, couplestherapy,...
What happens to sexual desire after marriage?Everything can change! The switch can be confusing, and so in this episode, we will try to iron out a bit of that confusion by digging into what it is about marriage that dampens sexual desire. Listen as we talk about the real reasons for the shift in desire after marriage!While it's easy to blame marriage, the byproducts of marriage-time and togetherness-are the real villains.
Topics: Podcast, Couples, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Therapy, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage,...
An orgasm is so powerful - It's almost indescribable! If your partner asked you to describe how an orgasm feels in your body, could you do it? Would you do it?We're giving you 5 tips on how to talk about orgasms with your partner. Laurie and George also open up about what their own experiences are like... Practicing what we preach-VULNERABILITY!If you're ready to talk about the big O, we have 5 open-ended questions you can use for a smooth conversation that will improve your connection.
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Therapy, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples, couplestherapy,...
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Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Therapy, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
Not fair. Women have less orgasms than men; Laurie and George talk about the disturbing stats. Why is this happening? Do men still not know how a woman gets aroused and reaches orgasm? Are we as parents and a culture teaching young women and men about what a female bodies might need? Women are socialized to give instead of to get. And men are more shaped to get what they need. George volunteers that women also need \"fairplay\" not just foreplay.
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Therapy, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
How do we heal the pain created by reaching for our person and finding they aren't there? We've all experienced hurt and disappointment in relationships. When a healthy attachment is present, the pain is acknowledged, and you move past it together. However, when there's an attachment injury, the process of moving forward is blocked... The good news is that it's never too late to heal an attachment injury! Let's talk about HOW to heal these attachment wounds... together.
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples, couplestherapy,...
Let's talk about all things smooches! Types of kissing, \"good\" kisses, what a kiss means to you...Labeling someone as a \"good\" kisser implies a one-size-fits-all technique, but in reality, we don't have good and bad; we have compatible and non-compatible kissers. Kissing is a matter of preference, attraction, attunement, and perhaps even genetics.We often throw kissing into the foreplay category and give it little thought, but kissing can be the end game- it doesn't...
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Sexuality, Therapy, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples, couplestherapy,...
Within the sexual cycle, shame takes many forms. We might feel shame over what we've done, things that have been done to us, or over our desires and fantasies. If one partner brings up a new sex act and their partner has a disgusted reaction, it can create deep shame for even bringing it up or disgust at one's self for having \"such\" ideas, further fueling the shame cycle.How do we close the gap and find attunement within this mismatched experience? Listen to Laurie and George...
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Sex, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples, couplestherapy,...
5 primary emotions: joy, fear, anger, sadness, shame, and disgust - feeling all of them is important, especially with your partner. Emotions are the language of the body. They say, \"pay attention, something's happening!\" But so often we don't pay attention, choosing, consciously or unconsciously, to disconnect.While there are many tools we can use to rewrite the script, in this episode we're going to talk about co-regulation and co-creation (\"CoCo\") And learn how to...
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples, couplestherapy,...
Let's use the 3 road analogy to discuss the sexual and emotional cycles: the High, Middle, and Low Roads. Research highlights the importance of navigating all three roads for relationship success. The question is, how do we navigate them?Balancing all three roads within your relationship will require a conversation that isn't for the faint of heart. We're putting all the pieces together in 5 exercises that will challenge your relationship and open the door to communication.
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Relationships, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples, couplestherapy,...
EFT walks couples through a de-escalation process, but what sets EFT apart is Stage Two. The second stage focuses not on \"what's wrong\" but on making things right in the relationship.In stage two, couples learn to replace the negative cycle with a positive. They create \"new moves.\" The script in this episode is about compassionately sharing and accepting each other's needs.By integrating these new moves into your relationship through better communication, you can...
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
How do you initiate in the bedroom? ;) George and Laurie explore (and joke!) about 5 different initiator styles: Seduction, Touch, Emotional Connection, Sex Talk and Power Play.Which way do you like it best? Which way does your partner like it best? Does seduction begin with the way you drink your coffee in the morning like it does with Laurie? Are you missing each other because of a style difference?
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
This episode is all about finding balance in Yin, Yang, and sex. Combining Yin and Yang in the bedroom requires honoring our evolving natures. The balance is ever-changing because people are ever-changing. In the bedroom, that means honoring and asking, \"Where am I now? Where is my partner now? What do I want now?\" Both Yin and Yang are needed for our sex lives to flourish. Partners in relationships can both be dominant in one type, but we most often see opposites attract.
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
Touch, smell, sound, taste, vision... Which senses cause you sexual \"blocks?\" Perhaps touch feels unnatural, painful, or irritating. Maybe you are self-conscious about the way you smell and aren't comfortable with letting your partner go down. Or maybe some sounds or things your partner says turns you off...Moving past these requires communication with your partner. Start by sharing your \"blocks\" with your partner.Explore what you don't like, explore what you do, and...
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
Laurie & George discuss the 'still-face' experiments and how that shows up in the bedroom - look on our partner's face that spells d i s c o n n e c t i o n! We have to get curious about what is going on for the partner giving the still face.Listen as Laurie and George suggest ways to get curious and open up a conversation about still face.
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
Sex and emotions-there's a delicate balance between the two, an overlap that can't be ignored. Emotions can enhance sex or inhibit sex, and sex can enhance emotions or inhibit emotions.Borrowing concepts from the attachment theory, we dive into how sex and emotions intertwine by exploring the role of the Pursuer and Withdrawer...
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
What can we learn from Hollywood about balancing sexual 'yin and yang'? In this episode, we'll focus on sensuality as a pure act of giving, and on the importance of balance between the yin (sensuality) and the yang (assertiveness) of sex. Shifting from yang to yin asks us to unravel our unrealistic views of sex, and Hollywood occasionally provides the perfect how-to guide. Let's talk about three movies with scenes that perfectly capture yin sensuality...
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
Want to explore new moves with your partner, but don't know how to ask? How can Pursuers approach and encourage their Withdrawer partner to open their mind to new things?When we want variety or want to suggest something new to our partner, energy and enthusiasm can carry the day. When there is reluctance, a Pursuer needs to resist the wish to fall back and at least bring their heart and passion.
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
All of us have struggles communicating, and these struggles often seep into the bedroom. As sex and couples therapists, we often run into couples who avoid talking about sex and sexual needs. Instead, they defer to an avoidant-style habit that can be a sex life killer: making assumptions. When we make up stories about our partner, it kills the curious drive that creates sexual magic. When we assume our partner knows what we want, we forfeit the possibility of getting our needs met.
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
Where were you on 9/11? We all remember. It's been 20 years. Most of us were stunned, watching the twin towers fall, but George was with the FDNY rushing to Ground Zero, following his training, following his instinct to get people out of there. Listen up as he shares about the worst of times -- the horror of the day and months to come, searching for people who were still alive and finding none. And the best of times -- the support and love that people poured out to the first responders, to...
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
Couples who find themselves stuck in the boring and mundane are often couples who have failed to be vulnerable.We're using a three-road analogy to explain why some couples remain in mediocracy...
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
Because sexual Pursuers are usually the sexual initiator, they are often facing rejection. Over time they become anxious about initiating. For Pursuers, rejection goes beyond being told \"no\" when they make a sexual advance. Rejection also happens when they perceive or assume rejection. It may seem unfair but it feels true to the sexual Pursuer.How can Withdrawers seek to understand and help their frustrated sexual Pursuer? We're breaking down 5 ways Withdrawers can protect their...
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
Sometimes sexual activities become compulsive and lead to damaging pattern in people's relationships and work lives. Defining sexual compulsion is best done by identifying certain patterns and behaviors. These can include overindulging in porn, loss in interest in sex with their partner, having a \"secret\" life seeking seeking sexual activities elsewhere, escalation of risky sexual behaviors, or neglecting responsibilities due to their addiction.How do we understand and begin healing...
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
We talk a lot about romance outside of the bedroom, but what does a romantic interlude look like?Both men and women appreciate romance and thoughtfulness in relationships. Bringing romance to a relationship will differ for everyone but based on our experience, there are 4 important elements for adding spice to the bedroom!Let's break down each of these steps!
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
Grieving is a complex topic. Sex is a complex topic. Talking about both may seem awkward-but for anyone in a relationship, the reality is, sex and grief will eventually converge. When couples are faced with the loss of a loved one, this conversation can comfort and add to their security with each other when they need it the most. It's understandably a difficult position: How do you maintain a sexual connection with your loved one while honoring the grieving process? In memory of Mary Louise...
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
Q&A episode!!! We're answering a bunch of different questions from our listeners about the science of attraction, faking it, and how to bring sexy back!
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
We often use the word \"tango\" in EFT in context of the cycles, patterns, or feedback loop that couples can get stuck in. How do you change that dynamic? To break free from the negative cycle you have to see the interdependency - it takes effort, vulnerability, and engagement from BOTH partners. Change can't happen without meeting each other halfway!
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
Affairs devastate the trust and connection in a committed relationship... Although healing after an affair is a delicate process and can feel impossible, we believe that recovery and reconnection is possible!While sexual betrayal strikes at the very heart of commitment, marriages and partnerships can often emerge stronger after an affair. Join Dr. Laurie Watson and George Falleras they talk about the causes and how to recover from the pain of infidelity...
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
We've talked about what turns women on... let's hear about men!! It might not be what you expect...We're borrowing from Michael Castleman's insightful research on male libido. Contrary to popular belief about what turns men on - a supermodel, beauty, lingerie... the research actually says there are much bigger, deeper factors.The #1 factor? Desire, feeling wanted. Let's talk about some of the main factors that impact male libido...
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
All gas, no brakes!! We're using our acronym B.E.S.T. sex to talk about turn ons and turn offs. What works, and what doesn't work. Body, Emotional, Spiritual, and Thoughts... Use B.E.S.T. to be more intentional and find practical tactics to apply to your relationship. The best love is when you feel safe, safe enough to take risks and know you'll still be accepting. A big part of great sex is to keep growing together, and the best lovers are vulnerable.
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
How can you develop your erotic mind? The BRAIN is the best sexual organ we have! Fantasizing about and longing for your partner leading up to the experience itself, builds anticipation - a major turn on. The unknown, \"what could happen next?\" feeling, common in the dating phase, that can be so exciting. Fantasies fuel arousal; They are great bridges into the moment. Sharing these fantasies with your partner and exploring them together - opens a new door to vulnerability...
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
Do you feel stuck in the negative cycle? What's not working? Couples usually understand what's not working, but not what they could do differently. It is difficult for pursuers to understand where their withdrawer partner is coming from... and vice versa. But you are not helpless victims to the negative cycle! There are things you can do; You can control own your new moves. You can learn new ways to approach your partner that recognizes their needs.
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
When someone is committed to fidelity and their partner absolutely does not want sex-is there any hope?The danger of a sexless marriage is that the couple may not feel the love of or for their partner and become subject to the temptation of others. They may long for the sexual connection they shared in the beginning; George and Laurie share some ideas about how taking their clothes off again can be safer.
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
What sexual cues turn women on? Here's a hint-interest is sexy! 32% of women lack sexual interest, according to study by Meston & McCall. The study found that increased sexual cues resulted in increased frequency for females. Female sexual desire has a more emotional component to it; Women are more externally triggered in relationship factors and setting; connection and presence. Laurie & George break down the cues for you in this week's episode....
Topics: Podcast, EFT, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couples,...
In this episode, we're answering YOUR questions!! We find that the questions can be repetitive because couples are struggling with the same sexual and emotional issues... Let's talk about a common theme we hear from our listeners: Willing vs wanting.Couples find themselves at a sexual \"crossroads\" with two options: breakthrough or breakup. How can you avoid the latter and instead find an opportunity to connect on a deeper level both emotionally and in bed?
Topics: Podcast, Marriage, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couplestherapy, eft,...
How can you better approach and communicate with your partner about your feelings and needs? Reflect, Evocative Response, Validate...In this week's episode, Laurie and George give you concrete tools and bridging exercises to build your connection and understand each other on a deeper level.
Topics: Podcast, Marriage, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couplestherapy, eft,...
Have you experienced a state of \"flow\" during sex? What is the correlation between flow and sexual satisfaction? A new research study by Jamea, E. N., McCaskill, L.A., & Needle, R. B. (2021) found that flow proved to be a significant positive predictor of both partner-focused and personal sexual satisfaction. In this episode, Laurie and George talk about how to find this sexual rhythm that will help you fall into each other, lose yourself in the moment, and merge together as one.
Topics: Podcast, Marriage, Relationships, Therapy, bestsexpodcast, christianmarriage, couplestherapy, eft,...
